Without You
by CharmedAli
Summary: Mac is ordered off to fight what happens when something goes horribly wrong? HarmMac very shippery my first JAG fic RR crossover with Stargate:SG1 Chapter 15 finally up So incredibly sorry it took so long! BTW who noticed my stuff up AN on ch15
1. News

Without You

Admiral Chedwiggen was sitting in his office on the phone

"She did exceptionally well on her latest test, one of the top in the _country_"

"I don't care _colonel_ she is one of our best lawyers"

"We need marines like her for this, get her to the Thomas Jefferson on Saturday and we will deploy her from there"

"I can't do that she is working on a case"

"Do I have to go over your head Admiral?"

"No, I'll do it but not willingly"

"Thank you Admiral"

"Goodbye" AJ sighed and hung up the phone "Tiner"

"Yes sir?"

"Get the colonel in here"

"Yes sir" a few minutes later Mac walked into the office

"You wanted to see me sir?"

"Yes colonel, sit down, I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but Marine Corps just called and, they want you to go TAD"

"A case sir? Why is that so bad?"

"No not for a case, to fight in the war against Terror"

"In Iraq?"

"Yes Mac, I'm sorry"

"How long?"

"A year maybe more"

"Wasn't there anything you could do?"

"Sorry Mac, he threatened to go over my head, I tried"

"What about my treatment?

"I'm so sorry Mac, they wouldn't budge"

"Thank you anyway sir"

"Here are your details, they had sent them to me before but I still waited for the call" he handed her a folder with all her flight information

"Thanks again"

"Good Luck Mac"

"Thank you sir"

"Go and talk to that husband of yours" Mac smiled and walked out and into Harm's office

"Did the clinic call?" Harm asked hopefully

"Not yet"

"Want something to drink?"

"That would be great" she smiled and followed him into the break room, Harm made himself a coffee and handed Mac a bottle of water, she leant against one of the benches as she watched Harm intently as he made his coffee

"What's wrong?"

"Who said anything was wrong?"

"I just know you too well" he left the coffee maker and walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, Mac took a deep breath

"The Marine corps want me deployed to Iraq, there was nothing the Admiral could do" Harm pulled away and looked at her speechless, after a long pause he said

"What about the treatment?"

"I guess we 're gonna have to wait a little longer for baby Rabb" she said with a sigh Harm held her tightly

"I'm so sorry Sarah" he said softly, he knew having a child meant so much to Mac and with the endometriosis it was almost impossible "When do you leave?" he said changing to topic

"Saturday"

"That's two days!"

"I know, but we have tomorrow off"

"At least I can spend it with you" he said kissing her forehead

"I'll miss you," she said hugging him tightly

"Me too" they left the room, Harm's coffee forgotten and Mac carrying her bottle of water, they finished up for the day and went home.

The next day they spent the morning packing before going to a nice secluded park near the water and having lunch, after that they continued the packing and Harm took her out to a romantic dinner before taking her home and making love to her.

Mac woke up the next morning tangled in the sheets and wrapped tightly in Harm's arms, she tried to get out but he did not let go, she rolled over and whispered in his ear.

"Come on baby, I've gotta get up" she knew he was awake but she kissed him anyway he began to kiss her back and rolled them over so he was lying on top of her

"I won't let you" he said, she smiled and began to wiggle underneath him

"Oh Mac, you know what that does to me" she smiled wickedly and didn't stop. He began to kiss her neck and she moaned.

"Oh" she gasped "Harm" she moaned; just as they were getting more intimate the phone rang. Mac cleared her throat and answered the phone

"Hello?"

"Sarah Rabb?"

"Yes"

"Your flight leaves at 1130 hours today"

"Thank you" the person on the other end hung up and Mac sat there confused while hanging up the phone

"Who was that?"

"Dunno. All they said was my flight was leaving at 1130 hours but I already knew that"

"Right" he paused and then said "You can't just leave it there" and they resumed their previous activity.

At 1030 they got out of bed, showered and Mac put on her uniform, Harm his civvies and after breakfast Mac grabbed her bag and they headed off to the airport.

Everyone was waiting to farewell Mac when they got there, Jen, Harriet, Bud, Little AJ and AJ Chegwidden along with other JAG personnel. After farewelling everyone she turned to Harm and they embraced tightly.

"I'm gonna miss you Marine"

"Me too flyboy" They pulled apart and saw the unshed tears in each other's eyes, Mac turned to get on the COD when she heard

"MAC!" she turned around and ran to the girl

"Chloe! I missed you" they embraced "You've grown so much"

"I haven't seen you in ages

"Excuse me ma'am," a lady said tapping Mac on the shoulder "Your aircraft is due to leave, you must board now"

"Thank you, sorry Clo," Mac kissed the top of her head and let go but Chloe held on tighter

"Please don't go"

"I have to honey, I don't have a choice" Chloe held on tighter still "Why don't you go home with Harm?" Harm came over and put an arm on Chloe's shoulder, she looked up and nodded

"OK" Chloe let go and Mac picked up her carry-on and after one last soft kiss with Harm she left to the COD. As it took off she looked down at the airport as it grew smaller and disappeared into nothing.

When she arrived on the ship it was late, she took her bags and set up in her designated room. The two petty officers in the room were staring at her

"As you were" she said, they continued to stare at her and she looked down at herself and saw why, she was in her uniform and they were both in fatigues, she set down her stuff on her bed and fished her fatigues our of her bag and went to change. She came out and looked at herself in the mirror, it all seemed very strange to her, there were more fatigues on the edge of her bed and she sighed before sitting down on the edge of her bed and putting everything into her footlocker.

"Excuse me ma'am," said one of the women

"Yes Petty Officer"

"If you don't mind, where are you stationed, I haven't seen you before?"

"JAG corps. Virginia"

"You're a lawyer?"

"Yes, do you have a problem with that Petty Officer?"

"No ma'am"

"Don't worry, I don't know why I'm here either" she held her hand out to shake the other woman's "Lt. Colonel Rabb, but you can call me Mac"

"Petty Officer Harris" she said

"Petty Officer Mathews" said the other girl; Mac shook both their hands

"Nice to meet you both" Mac climbed onto her bed and continued to organise herself to keep her mind off Harm.

Harm sat at home with Chloe, although he was making lunch and listening to Chloe, he couldn't keep his mind off Mac, she's a lawyer not a fighter, she wouldn't hurt a fly and what about they baby they were working on? He was furious.

By Monday Chloe had sent an e-mail to Mac and left for home and Harm was happy to be back at work and distracted, he stopped on the way in and looked through the glass into Mac's office. He heard his phone ringing and ran to his office but didn't get to it in time

"Damn, I should have got that answering machine like Mac said" he sat down and began his work.

Mac's Office

The phone began to ring and her answering machine picked it up

"Hi this is Colonel Mackenzie JAG corps, please leave a message"

"Hi this is Rebecca from Dr. Caldwell's office, Sorry it took so long to get back to you but this is the only answering machine I got, Congratulations, your test results were positive but be careful, because of your endometriosis you have a high risk of miscarriage, In response to the call you gave us, do not go on that trip, I hope this is not too late"

The training time on the ship was going on for two weeks, during the second week it was Mac's birthday. That morning the Skipper told Mac that instead of a briefing, she could go and start her training early. Mac decided to go to one of the practice rooms. By the time others began to arrive Mac had had enough and went back to her room, she found a mailbox on her bed and she looked at it in confusion

"What's this?"

"Mail apparently"

"You can get mail on carriers?"

"You can now" Mac went over to her bed and sat down in front of the box, picking up the first package, a present and a card on it, looking into the box there were a lot of similar packages

"Ma'am?"

"Oh, my, I don't know, it's my birthday"

"Happy Birthday"

"Thank you," she opened the first card, it was from Admiral Chegwidden and he had sent her a photo album with memories from JAG. Mac showed the Petty Officers the photos on the first few pages, most of the book was blank for her to add whatever she wanted. The next present was from, Harriet, Bud and little A.J. who had drawn her a picture that had 'I miss you Aunt Mac' written by him in the center, no doubt helped by his mother. They had sent her a packet of Tim-Tams that she knew had been specially ordered from Australia.

"What are they?" asked PO Harris

"They are biscuits from Australia, they must have got them sent over"

"Australia?" asked PO Matthew's

"Yes, I was born and raised in Australia"

"Wow, cool" Mac went onto the next few presets, when she had finished she had received presents from Sturgis, Sergei, Jen Coates, Tiner and even Singer which she knew was influenced by the Admiral at the very bottom she found a note, all it said was

Your love is my fuel for life 

_Your Flyboy_

"You marry a guy and this is all he send you for your birthday?"

"Maybe it means something, you know a good lawyer challenge?" Harris suggested

"Clues" said Matthews

"Ah ha, that's my Flyboy, cheeky" Mac thought about it for awhile before getting up and rushing out the door

"I thought she would never get it" sighed Harris

"I know, she's supposed to be a lawyer and in the instructions it said she should catch on"

Mac ran to the engine room and surely enough there was a note, folded in half, taped to the door with Ninjagirl written on it in Harm's handwriting inside it said:

Save me a piece of cake 

"Typical Flyboy" she muttered walking to the kitchen door and surely enough another note

I like your singing! 

Mac thought about this, 'singing? I don't sing, except, shower!' She went back to her room, dumping her clues into the box with all her presents and cards in it and walked into the bathroom, seeing yet another note on the shower door all this one said was

I'll make this brief 

That was all, no more, except for the Ninjagirl on the front like all the others, there was nothing else, 'brief? Brief what? Ooh, brief! As in briefing' she walked back to the briefing room where everyone was waiting, she walked in and they all yelled surprise, the skipper came up to her and said

"Thank your husband, he organized all of this" he said shaking her hand, she opened the present on the table next to the cake, a circle with the JAG insignia on the top and found a DVD that Harm had made for her and a Polaroid photo of a locket with a caption saying:

You can have it when you get home, it is not safe to have precious jewelry on a ship!

Mac laughed and put her presents down and was handed a piece of cake, just as everything was getting a little subdued, the skipper call their attention again and announced there was just one more surprise for her and one of the men brought out a videophone of Harm out to Mac.

"Hey Mac"

"Harm," she said "Thank you for all this"

"Happy birthday Marine" Mac smiled

"I miss you"

"Me too honey"

"Hey lawyer girl!" said one of the men, Mac looked at him angrily, he was always giving her a hard time for being a lawyer "Why don't you go home to him" he said sookily Mac grizzled and ignored it, the skipper dismissed everyone else and gave Mac a seat

"They been giving you that much of a bad time?"

"Yeah, I'm dealing"

"You don't have to"

"I don't have much else of a choice"

"Yeah, well, I gotta go but some other people wanna say hi ok?"

"Ok, I love you Harm"

"Me too Sarah" he left and Mac smiled, he rarely called her Sarah but she knew the love he felt when he used her given name, she then proceeded to speak to almost every other member of JAG and finished up with A.J. Chegwidden before hanging up the videophone and going back to her room with the photo and the DVD. She slipped the DVD into the computer and began to watch it.

"Happy Birthday baby, I'm sorry we couldn't spend it together but this is a close as we can get for now, I miss you, I hope you can get home soon…" the DVD continued with inspirational words and some of his very patented 'jokes' it ended with his special flyboy smile reserved specially for her.

Mac got into bed that night, noticing that the Petty Officers weren't there yet, it would be lights out soon. Just as she was falling asleep, she was sure she heard his voice and felt his arms wrap around her as he lay down next to her. She began to feel his heat but knew she had dreamt that before and when she turned around he wasn't really there.

"Mac?" He said, she decided to turn over anyway and was face to face with him

"Harm, is it really you?"

"Yes baby, I'm really here" She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply

"I missed you"

"You have told me that already today"

"But now I get to hold you" she said burying her head in his shirt, letting a few tears escape her eyes

"Is my tough little marine crying?" he asked cheekily

"I just missed you so much, that's all"

"I know baby, I know" he held her close until she stopped crying, he then lay on his back and she lay her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, she fell asleep there and when she woke up, she saw a note on her pillow

I'm sorry I had to leave, work tomorrow 

_I love you, never forget that, I will see you when you get home_

_Be safe_

_Your Harm_

Mac smiled at the note, she got up and changed before heading to breakfast and the usual morning briefing.

A week later the Marines were boarding a Helio to be transferred to Iraq, Mac boarded and took her seat with a resigned sigh and Petty Officers Harris and Matthews took their seats next to her

"I've never asked," said Petty Officer Harris curiously "Why do they call you Mac?"

"My maiden name was Mackenzie and most of my friends at JAG just started to call me Mac and it just stuck"

"Oh, Ok" Eventually the Helio took off and they made their way to Iraq

Harm sat at his desk, working was useless, he knew Mac had to go thorough this when he did his quals and they occasional flight but this was different

_How, how is this different? _He asked himself. He looked at the clock on his desk, she would be on the Helio now, he sighed and his eyes moved to the photo of them on their wedding day, she was so beautiful. Then his mind began to wander through their life since, their honeymoon and their trials and troubles. An ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage, there were some days when he just wanted to take her pain away. Although she was a marine and you could really tell when she tried to hide it but he still noticed that she was in pain.

Flashback

"Harm?" called Mac from their bedroom, she had just woken up from a nap, Harm rushed towards the room and found her sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand against her abdomen and pain in her eyes

"What is it honey?" He asked

"I don't think it is supposed to hurt this much so early" she said trying to hide her pain, Harm slipped an arm around her waist and slowly helped her to stand. After only a few steps, Mac stopped and bent over in pain moaning, Harm swept her up into his arms and rushed to the car. The doctor said she was suffering from an ectopic pregnancy and she had to remove the fallopian tube. The doctor left and went to get everything ready and Harm sat on the edge of the bed

"I'm so sorry" he said, "There will always be another chance" she began to cry

"It's all my fault"

"No it's not baby it happens to lots of women" he wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back gently, she pulled away and wiped away the tears. The doctors came in and took her to the OR.

End Flashback

A Beep on his computer brought him out of his reverie, he looked at the screen that had a notice saying he had a new e-mail, he opened it and began to read

_My Dearest Flyboy,_

_ We are leaving very soon and I want you to know whatever happens I love you very much and I want you to know whatever happens that will never change but if anything should happen please don't live in my memory, you deserve someone to love you as much as I do. I'll see you when I get home. I love you baby_

_Your Ninja girl_

Harm stared at the screen and sighed, he wished for the millionth time that JAG personnel didn't have to fight.

Mac sat on the Helio, staring out the window, dreaming of Harm, some of the others were singing silly songs and some yelled that one of the other officers could sing well and they all cheered for her to sing. Mac stayed silent not wanting anyone to make her sing

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all 

_The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all_

_But even if I could it would all be grey but your picture on my wall_

It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad at all 

Mac smiled, she liked this song and ignored her logical voice inside saying don't sing and joined in and thought about her days on the carrier and the photo she left on the wall of Harm's and her wedding

I drank too much last night got bills to pay, my head just feels in pain 

_I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm Late for work again_

_And even if I'm there they'll all imply that I might not last the day_

_And then you call me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad at all_

Mac's mind wandered over the memories of the carrier, many of the marines thought she was not good enough because she was a lawyer, especially the men. One specific day the men were jeering because she was pinned to the ground in a training session by a man about 3 times bigger that she was and they all were saying she was a petty lawyer, she broke his nose. That night Harm called her and lifted her spirits.

Just then the pilot announced that they were inside Iraq airspace and would be landing soon, the singing stopped and everything went quiet and solemn.

As they were landing the Helio shook, some of the back had been blasted off and it was out of control, they last few meters were chaotic as they crashed and the Helio was almost completely destroyed.

A/N: I know this is unrealistic, but I have a beta reader who is giving me advice and I have changed it a little to fit in and be slightly more realistic, the second chapter will be up soon, Thanks Tina my wonderful beta


	2. recovery

Chapter two

A/N: I know this is highly unrealistic but it just wrote itself and I like it how it is, I'm sorry if u don't like unrealistic but it works for me and it all plays vital roles in the story, I have written about 5 chapters and I would like to just have people look at it and appreciate it for how it wrote itself, I get an idea and run with it! Thanx Tina 4 being my beta

Harm woke up with a start covered in sweat, he had dreamt Mac's Helio had crashed and everyone was killed. He shook it off and went back to sleep.

On the carrier another Helio was dispatched to look for any survivors of the crash, it arrived safely and the crew managed to revive 2 bodies from the wreck, they sent them back and began looking for more.

Harm sat nervously in his office he heard on the news that Mac's Helio had crashed and they were looking for survivors. The next bulletin was due any second now

"Commander, it's on," said Harriet poking her head into his door

"Thanks Harriet"

"Two bodies have been found in the wreck in Iraq, a Petty Officer Matthews, Jennifer and a Colonel Mackenzie, Samuel they are both in critical condition but are slowly recovering." Harm sighed, wrong Colonel Mackenzie "The search is continuing and rumour has it that more bodies have been found alive and are being flown back, more reports soon." Harm went back to his office, he wouldn't accept that Mac was dead; they said more people had been found alive, she could be one of them. Harriet came in and stood at the door

"Would you like me to sit with you till we hear something?"

"That would be nice, thanks Harriet"

Mac lay under a seat in the wreck, she had heard people looking for her but she knew she was buried under a lot of rubble and probably would not be found before she lost consciousness again, she always thought she would go a hero in a firefight, not just a crash of a Helio. She tried to push against the rubble but she knew that she had broken a few ribs and one of her legs felt that it most definitely wasn't in the right place. She decided to save her strength and try to call out to someone next time she heard something.

Two days later all the names of confirmed Dead from that Helio had been announced and Harm was going crazy, Mac still hadn't been found, the reporter was in the wreckage that day talking about the one poor Marine that was 'unknown'

"This is the wreckage of the terrible Helio crash" on screen there was a simulation of what happened, it showed a computerized Helio having some of the back blown off and it crashing. The screen went back to Iraq and the reporter with people going through rubble when a faint noise was heard. "Hang on what's that?" He said walking over to the heavy pile of debris that people were going through, the sound had come from there, another faint sound was heard but this time it was a distinguishable but weak

"Help" The reporter and a couple of men pulled the large piles of metal away faster and unearthed a small figure. Back in JAG HQ Harm gasped, it was Mac

"I think this is the lost Marine!" exclaimed the man, two of the marines put Mac on a stretcher and lifted her to the aircraft, she looked at the reporter and said a very weak

"Thank you" the cameraman came over and pointed the lens at Mac "Harm" she whispered before loosing consciousness, the reporter picked it up

"Harm? Well if that means something or someone that special someone is very lucky, and that marine is extremely lucky to be alive.

Harm looked at the Admiral, the whole JAG bullpen was cheering

"You don't even have to ask son, get going" Harm almost ran to his car, at home he called the carrier who sent a helio over to get him as soon as he was ready. The helio arrived and Harm couldn't get out fast enough, he ran past the men on deck, handing them the helmet, goggles and other gear and went straight to the sick bay.

"Excuse me sir," said one of the nurses "I'm sorry but you can't be in here"

"Sorry, I'm Commander Rabb, my wife was just found and flown here Colonel Rabb, and she is part of the Marine mission that was just conducted

"Ah yes, Commander Rabb, Your wife is still in the operating theatre, she should be out soon"

"Is she Ok?"

"She has a couple of bruised ribs and a few more broken ones, lots of cuts and bruises, her left leg is badly broken, she is malnourished and dehydrated and she suffered a miscarriage while she was out there"

"Mac was pregnant?" Harm said in shock

"Yes, I'm sorry sir"

"Thank you, where should I wait?" Harm was trying to keep his emotions at bay

"Over here please" she lead him over to a chair next to an empty bed, he sat there in complete shock, Mac was pregnant, or had been he let a few stray tears fall down his cheeks until he saw her being wheeled out of the operation, they moved her onto the bed and Harm looked up at the doctor expectantly

"She's gonna be fine" Harm smiled and held Mac's hand in his own, the doctors left them alone and Harm stared at her, she seemed relaxed and looked just like his beautiful angel that she was but he saw the stitches above her eyebrow and the other cuts and bruises on her face and arms. He smiled sadly at her small frame and the IV in her arm re hydrating and nourishing her. The doctor had said the anesthetic should ware off soon so he decided to stay next to her instead of talking to the skipper as he had been told to over the phone. She began to moan and move slightly

"Harm" she groaned

"It's Ok baby, I'm here," he said brushing a hand over her face

"Harm" she began to wake a little more and she opened her eyes

"Yes Mac, It's me I'm here"

"Harm, I thought I would never see you again"

"Oh Mac, are you Ok?"

"Hurts"

"It should"

"What happened to me?"

"You have a few broken ribs, a few more bruised ones, your left leg is broken, they have to rehydrate and nourish you because you were out there for so long, you have heaps of cuts and bruises and…" Harm trailed off, not wanting to tell her just yet

"What, Harm I can handle it, just tell me" Harm sighed

"Just know whatever happens I'm here for you"

"Come on Harm, it can't be that bad" than looking at his face she added "Can it?"

"You had a miscarriage when you were out there" Mac lay there in complete shock

"I-I"

"I'm so sorry Mac" he cupped her cheek gently as she looked away "We can get through it together, please let me in" she looked up to him with tears in her eyes

"Why?"

"I don't know baby, One day, we can go back to the clinic when you're ready and try again"

"I don't know anymore, I don't know how many times I can go through this" He rubbed his thumb over her cheek, wiping away some tears

"One day" he said

"One day" she said, letting a few tears fall, Harm also let a few tears fall and he squeezed her hand as they cried together. They stayed like that for a while before she yawned, Harm told her to go to sleep and when she did he kissed her gently on the forehead and she muttered his name softly.

Harm went to the Skipper and updated him on Mac's condition

"You two are very lucky people," he said

"I guess we are aren't we"

"Yes you are"

"Not completely"

"Why not?"

"She had a miscarriage"

"I didn't know she was pregnant"

"Nor did we till we were told in sick bay that she had lost it"

"I'm so sorry" Just then a nurse ran into the room

"I'm sorry sir but the Colonel is very worked up and is asking for you"

"Thank you, Skipper" Harm said

"Go look after you wife" Harm smiled and left quickly with the nurse, they got to the sick bay to find Mac sitting up crying with two nurses trying to calm her and one of the two trying to get her to lie down

"Mac" he said

"Harm" she said crying, he went over to the bed and sat on the edge, gently hugging her, wary of her ribs, she sobbed into his shirt, clutching onto him as if he were her lifeline

"Shhh, baby, it's all right, I'm here"

"Where were you?"

"The skipper wanted to know how his best marine was doing"

"Best marine?"

"Ok so I just added that part but I was just telling the skipper that you were Ok," she continued to sob into his chest "Mac, Sarah, you're very tired, why don't you lie down and rest for awhile, I won't go anywhere, I promise." He lay her down and smoothed her hair off her forehead and gave her a small kiss. He sat back down in the chair he had been sitting in before and picked up her hand as she fell asleep once again. After he dinner the nurse asked him to leave and go to Mac's quarters to let her sleep, he got up but she wouldn't let go of his hand

"Please, let him stay"

"You need your rest Colonel"

"If she wakes up again she may need me here, if anything else happens the other patients may wake up if she is making a noise" Harm said in her defense

"Ok, we do have a spare bed next to her so you can sleep there" She set up the bed next to her and Harm lay down after changing into his PJ's.

That night Mac had a dream about her problems with conceiving and miscarriages,

[Flashback

She was sitting in the hospital bed hugging Harm and crying in his arms, after 6 weeks of inconclusive blood tests and pain on her left side they had finally discovered what had happened. After bleeding they concluded she was having a miscarriage but after awhile they concluded the baby was ectopic and she had to take a pill to dissolve the rapidly growing cells. That didn't work so they had to remove the tube, she remembered waking up after a nap one day in terrible pain and Harm had to carry her to the car. Then after numerous tests they told her she had an ectopic pregnancy and the pills wouldn't work so she had to get the tube removed.

[End flashback

She woke with a start and felt a sharp pain around her ribs, she moaned and Harm heard her

"Mac?"

"I'm Ok"

"What happened?"

"Just moved wrong, my ribs hurt"

"I bet they do, the doctors tried to fix them as best they could but can't put a cast around your ribs"

"I know"

"I love you Mac"

"I love you too baby" they both fell asleep again and did not wake till the morning.

When they both woke up again that morning, Harm changed before resuming his position next to Mac on the seat.

"Harm would you do me a favor?"

"Anything"

"Take my key from the drawer and go to my quarters, see if there are two petty officers there, I have been told that half a dozen people came out of it with minimal damage and are back in their quarters. They're not here so just check for me huh?"

"Ok" Harm picked up they keys from her drawer and after kissing her softly he left to her room and found two Petty Officer's in the room packing away Mac's stuff, they both saluted and he saluted back "at ease ladies"

"Aren't you Harmon Rabb?" Said Harris

"Yes that's me"

"I'm so sorry about Mac sir"

"She's Ok, we're dealing"

"She is?"

"Yes, a reporter found her on live TV yesterday"

"Wow, can she have visitors yet?" Said Matthews

"Yes, she sent me to look for you"

"By the way we packed everything into her footlocker for you and were gonna get it sent to you but you can take it when you leave" The three of them left to the sickbay and Mac smiled at the sight of the two girls

"Mac" they said

"Are you two Ok?"

"We were lucky, how are you doing?"

"All right, my ribs are healing slowly as is the rest of me so I should be fine and in about a week I can go home"

"That's great," said Harris

"We'll leave you two together," said Matthews

"They're great girls," said Mac

"Yes they are," said Harm "I'm so glad you're Ok"

"Me too, you know what was going through my mind when I was lying under all that rubble?"

"No, what"

"That I may never see you again and I may not ever be able to give you a family"

"Oh Mac"

"I love you Ninjagirl"

"I love you too Flyboy"

Thanks for the past reviews, I did change the 1st chapter to make it a little more realistic and I did take your pointers into consideration, thanks for letting me know about how Mac got her name, I haven't changed that yet but I should get around to doing that soon. Sorry for the delay in the chapter, I don't want to push my beta 2 much. Thanx again Tina!

Review please!


	3. Home Time more news

A week later Mac had received countless calls from JAG personnel and was ready to leave. Harm had gathered all her stuff from her room and it was sent into the helio, Mac had her ribs x-rayed again the day before and they were all healed, all she had was bruising on the skin. Mac was put into a wheelchair and Harm wheeled her out to the Helio, they boarded and Mac was happy to see the end of that cruiser. They were dropped off and Harm insisted on returning to JAG to pick up a few things seeing as he had left in such a hurry the week before.

When they arrived they were welcomed at the checkpoint and Harm forced Mac to get out of the car and come in and say hello. He lifted her out and put her in the wheelchair. As they walked in there were announcements going on so they stopped to listen. Harriet was talking about this year's fundraiser and they had decided to borrow a hand car wash café and use all the money for the Pentagon as usual and they all had to do it in their old uniform because they had all just been provided with new uniforms. Harriet looked around telling everyone that they had to participate in some way when she spotted Harm and Mac in the back.

"Colonel Rabb, welcome back!" she said excitedly and everyone turned around to look at her, Mac blushed and everyone began to move towards her to congratulate her when the Admiral called their attention for some more announcements. Mac smiled gratefully and Harm wheeled her into his office to get some order into it. They then went to her office and she noticed there was a message they listened to it, it was Dr. Caldwell's office saying she was pregnant, Mac deleted the message as she held back the tears. As they were leaving Harriet was back up the front talking more about the JAG car wash when her phone rang, she blushed and answered it meekly. The Admiral brought attention back to him and just as he was about to dismiss everybody they heard a squeal from Harriet as she hugged Bud and hung up the phone.

"Ok, Lieutenant seeing as you have brought attention back to you what is going on?" said Admiral Chegwidden

"I'm pregnant, Bud and I are gonna have another baby!" At this stage Harm and Mac were up the back again and everyone was dismissed so they went up to Harriet and Bud to congratulate them, Harm smiled at Bud as he came over

"Congratulations Bud"

"Thank you Sir, I'm so sorry about Mac," he said

"Speaking of which where did she go?" said Harriet joining them they saw a glass door shut as Mac wheeled herself out albeit with difficulty. Harriet gasped and went to go after her, Harm put his hand on her shoulder

"Leave it to me" Harriet nodded

"Tell her I'm so sorry I totally forgot about what happened, I mean Admiral Chegwidden told me but I…"

"Don't worry Harriet, it's not your fault and I think Mac is happy for you, just not ready for something like this so soon"

"I'm so sorry" Harriet had a hand up near her mouth, almost crying Bud put an arm around her and they watched Harm go after Mac and turned back to their desks and got back to work.

Harm walked outside and saw Mac looking out a window, he pulled her chair away from the wall and knelt in front of her. He saw the unshed tears in her eyes

"Harriet is really sorry"

"It's not her fault, it's just not fair" she said tears beginning to fall, her hands were balled up into fists and she thumped them against Harm's chest. He grabbed her wrists and moved them out of the way, he held onto her gently careful of her ribs and she rested her hands on his back.

"It's not fair, It's not fair, It's not fair," her voice got weaker until she was just crying

"Shhh, I know baby but it is going to be all right," he rubbed her back and didn't let go until her tears had begun to stop. He got up and wheeled her back to the car, lifting her back into her seat, strapping her in and collapsing the wheelchair before he got into the car and drove them home. When they got home Harm set Mac up on the couch and he called Dr. Caldwell explaining what happened. He ordered Chinese from their favorite restaurant and went to sit next to her

"Wanna watch a movie?" he asked, she nodded and he got up putting a DVD into the player and they began to watch Bruce Almighty and when the Chinese was delivered Harm got up and handed Mac some chopsticks and they ate. When they had finished and the Movie was over Harm saw Mac was asleep on his chest. He picked her up and took her into the bedroom, he changed her into her favorite PJ's and lay her in bed, and he was shocked to see all the cuts and bruises she had sustained in the crash.

The next morning Mac awoke snuggled close to Harm, she tried to move but rolled onto one of her sore ribs instead and cried out in pain.

"Huh?" Said Harm sitting up quickly

"I'm Ok, I was trying not to wake you"

"You need me before you can get up anyway, remember"

"Great, yeah" she said remembering the chair and allowing him to lift her into it and be wheeled into the kitchen for breakfast. Harm made bacon and eggs with a little bit of hollandaise sauce for Mac and for himself, but without the bacon of course! During breakfast Mac held out a small piece of bacon,

"Come on flyboy, you have to try it, just a little bit, come on" Harm looked at the fork she was holding out suspiciously "Come on" Harm didn't change his expression "Ok, I'll let you make your meatless meatloaf if you just try it" Harm smiled, he enjoyed making that for her and teasing her but he wouldn't eat that stuff for anything so he shook his head and pushed it back at her. After breakfast Mac suggested that she and Harm go and look after AJ today, the Roberts' probably wouldn't have left yet and her internal clock was still waking her up really early.

"Are you sure you could deal with it so soon?" he asked

"Yes, I'll be fine, I just need to see him you know?"

"Yeah, I'll call them Ok?"

"Thanks"

Mac and Harm arrived at the Roberts' 15 minutes later. They heard little AJ inside saying

"Yay! They're here!" and Harriet came to the door in her uniform

"Hello, sir, ma'am"

"Harriet, it's Harm and Mac while we're off duty"

"Yes ma'a… uh Mac, by the way, I'm so sorry about yesterday"

"It's OK Harriet, congratulations by the way"

"Thank you" Harriet didn't go any further because she knew it was a sensitive subject at the moment "Welcome back, We're all so glad you're back"

"Thank you Harriet, and thank you for the present that I got on the carrier, it was very thoughtful, how did you get them?"

"It was very easy actually, Bud's brother went to Australia and was getting back just before you left so we got him to bring us some"

"They were perfect"

"Is that those biscuits?" said Harm

"Yep"

"Come in, AJ has been waiting for you" Harm wheeled her in and AJ bounded towards them

"Aunt Mac!" he said heading straight for her, Harm stepped in front of her and scooped him up

"Hey buddy, I know you missed Aunt Mac but you have to be very careful, see that?" he said pointing to Mac's cast

"Yep"

"That means her leg is very sore and she hurts here too" he said ticking his ribs

"Ok, Uncle Harm I'll be very careful"

"Good boy" he said ruffling his hair and putting him down, AJ ran over to Mac and the wheelchair and stopped before her. Mac smiled, leant over, picked him up and put him on her lap

"I missed you little one"

"Me too Aunt Mac, you were gone an awful long time" Harm went to talk to Harriet and Bud while Mac was playing with AJ.

They played with AJ all day, watched TV, played games then fed him lunch, after lunch he had a nap and it gave Harm time to talk to Mac.

"Are you OK with this?"

"I'm fine, We don't spend enough time with him anyway, and it'll keep me busy till I get my cast off"

"You wanna do it for the rest of the month?"

"Yes, it will also save Bud and Harriet a lot"

"Ok" Harm and Mac agreed that if they were needed they would look after AJ till Mac got her cast off and was ready to go back to work.

A/N: I don't know how long it takes for ribs to heal but this is my story and I say they are healed and only sore. I chose Bruce Almighty because Catherine Bell is in it and I thought it would be very funny if Harm and Mac watched it.

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	4. JAG car wash

A/N: I'm starting by filling in some time but it should all be good soon!

Finally the day came for Mac to get her cast off, they came out of the doctor's surgery with Mac walking slowly but steadily and happily. Harm helped her to the car and they drove home, when they got home Mac called Dr. Caldwell's office to schedule an appointment for the next day, after spending the month with AJ she couldn't wait for her own child.

"Welcome back," said Dr. Caldwell

"It's good to be back," said Mac

"Let's get started shall we?" He said leading Harm and Mac into his surgery, he checked her over before giving her some pills "we're gonna start at the beginning again and go with your plan of moving up to the more drastic things when you feel it isn't working. Come back when you have finished these and I'll check you over again and we can really get started" Harm and Mac smiled and left. They got changed into their uniforms and went to work.

1 week later

"Ok Colonel, let's see if these pills have done you any good huh?" Dr. Caldwell said to Mac who was lying on the bed in the middle of the room in a white robe, he did one quick test and instructed Mac to get changed "Your results will be in soon, it is a very quick test. Harm helped Mac change after Dr. Caldwell left and they sat in front of the table, waiting for the results.

"Ok, it all seems fine, now it is all up to you, you have a few days in which to conceive and I would like to see you again in 3 days"

"Thank you Doctor" said Harm, offering Mac his hand and walking out. As soon as they got home Mac started kissing Harm.

"I thought you wanted to wait"

"I've been holding this off for way too long, I'm going crazy" she said before locking her lips with his once again, by the time they reached their bedroom door, Harm they were both topless and Harm was working on her bra. Mac closed the door behind her and they fell onto the bed.

Harm was the first to wake the next morning, he was starving but he didn't get up because he didn't want to wake up Mac. He lay there watching her till she moaned and woke up, rolling over to see Harm staring at her. She smiled

"Morning beautiful" he said kissing her gently on the lips

"Morning" she smiled wider

"What?"

"I love you"

"I love you too, now, how about breakfast?"

"Great idea"

"You go shower and I'll get something ready"

"You're gonna make me fat if you keep cooking me eggs and bacon"

"No I won't because tonight I'm cooking meatless meatloaf" Mac groaned and slapped him playfully before getting out of bed and into the shower. Harm got up and began to cook breakfast and was just finishing as Mac came out of their bedroom, fully changed. After breakfast Harm showered and they went off to the car wash fundraiser.

Halfway during the day a dark SVU pulled up and a tall, slender, short-haired blonde stepped out.

"Sam!" said Mac, coming over

"Mac!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm on holiday with my husband" she said, "He's gone off, shopping, what are you doing? I thought you were a lawyer"

"I am, we always do a fundraiser for the Pentagon and this year, seeing as we just got new uniforms we are doing a car wash and sending the money we earn to the Pentagon, a little weird but it's a fundraiser." They heard a scream and turned around, Harm was laughing furiously at a completely drenched Singer who had just had a bucket of water tipped over her head, suds running down her body. Mac began laughing too and Sam stood there not knowing what to think "Don't worry she deserves it, she is very cruel" Sam smiled and began to laugh as well. Harm came over and stood next to Mac, wrapping an arm around her

"Who's this?"

"You remember my friend Sam," Mac said

"Hi, you must be Harm"

"Yep, that's me"

"Sorry I couldn't come to the wedding"

"Hey, it is all behind us now, you should drop by with Jack some time, we finish up at about 5 so how about we meet for dinner" said Mac

"Sounds good"

"Hey! I'm cooking tonight," said Harm

"Exactly" Mac said laughing cheekily

"Hey, you're air force aren't you?" said Harm turning his attention to Sam

"Yep"

"You ever flown?"

"Here we go," said Mac

"Yes I have"

"Harm loves flying"

"You should come up with me while you're here"

"OK"

"Hey, she is _my _friend" Harm and Sam began to chuckle when they heard a man's voice yell

"Hey Sam!" He ran over and hugged her

"Mac, this is my husband, Jack, Jack this is Mac and her husband Harm"

"Nice to meet you" said Jack shaking their hands

"Same here" said Mac, she shot an appreciative smile at Sam

"Janet and Cassie are waiting," said Jack, as if on cue a little girl ran over and hugged Sam's leg

"Cassie" said Sam, picking up the little girl

"Cassie?" Came a worried voice

"She's over here Janet" called Sam, waving at her friend

"Where did you go?"

"I followed Jack," she said

"Now we're just waiting for Daniel" said Jack

"And T… uh, Murray"

"Murray?"

"Uh yeah" said Sam uncomfortably

"They can come to dinner if they want too"

"Cool" said Cassie

"Hello, Cassie, my name is Sarah, but you can call me Mac"

"Mac, Mac rhymes with Jack" Sam giggled at the little girl

"Sam, is she yours?"

"Oh, no, Jack and I haven't got any yet, she is adopted, she's Janet's"

"Although she wishes she was Sam's" said Janet

"Jan" Said Sam "It's a long story" she said to Harm and Mac

"Classified?" said Mac, Sam smiled guiltily

"I know what you mean"

"Anyway, we'd better get back to work, Singer will probably want revenge" said Harm

"Bye, see you at dinner time, I'll call you when we're done and you can tell me what you all want and how many and I'll recommend somewhere"

"Cool" Said Jack

"Bye Bye" said Cassie

"Nice to meet you" said Janet, Sam put Cassie down and hugged Mac

"I missed you"

"Me too"

"By the way I heard what happed in Iraq, I'm so sorry"

"I'm dealing"

"We'd better go," said Jack, "the rest will be looking for us"

"Bye" said Mac. They turned back to the cars they were washing and Singer was still complaining that she had to wash cars

"Lt. Simms isn't"

"She is the organizer, plus, she's four months pregnant" said AJ

"What about Colonel Mackenzie"

"Rabb, and what about her?"

"Isn't she pregnant" she said well knowing that Mac had lost the baby in Iraq, Harm and Mac gasped and AJ was furious

"Just get back to work or I will _demote _you instead of the promotion that you have been pushing for, for all too long" AJ said stalking off and over to Harm and Mac "are you all right Colonel?"

"Yes" she said a little unconvincingly, Harm hugged her and kissed her forehead

"It's OK baby, I'm here for you" he said after AJ had left

"Thanks Harm" she said giving him a little kiss, "we'd better get back to work"


	5. dinner and yet more news

Chapter 5

That night they all arrived at the restaurant, Harm, Mac, little AJ, Harriet, Bud, Sam, Jack, Cassie, Janet, Daniel and a small toddler about AJ's age. All eleven of them sat at the table and Mac introduced Bud, Harriet and AJ to the rest of the table, the other toddler's name was Kim. There was a playroom off to one side of the restaurant so they ordered and Sam and Mac took all the kids into the playroom. Jack and Harm began to talk as did Harriet and Janet, Bud and Daniel and in the playroom Mac and Sam. The kids played happily and Sam and Mac got to talk. Jack and Harm were talking about flying; Harriet and Janet were talking about toddlers, miscarriage and pregnancy as were Bud and Daniel, Sam and Mac were also talking about kids

"They're so cute," said Mac

"Aren't they?"

"Harriet is so lucky, with little AJ and another one on the way"

"And Janet, now she has kids, well Kim, Cassie and one on the way and Jack and I are having trouble I'm regretting not trying to find a way to keep Cassie, you know?"

"Yeah" Mac sighed

"What?"

"Harm and I have been having trouble too, I have had an ectopic pregnancy and two miscarriages, the latest one during the accident"

"I'm so sorry"

"Don't worry about it, we're dealing"

"Yeah us too, we are getting treatment from Janet, she is our CMO at the base"

"Good, maybe someday we will meet up again and have children of our own sometime"

"Yeah" They both smiled at the prospect

"Food's here" said Harm sticking his head in the door, the kids rushed out and Sam and Mac stood up slowly

"Thanks hon" Mac said, kissing him lightly

"No problem" The three of them walked out and took their seats at the table where their food is waiting.

"Didn't you have a friend called Murray?"

"He was called back to work, one of his projects was having trouble"

"Oh" After dinner they all said goodbye, Sam and Mac promising to talk more often and leaving reluctantly. When Harm and Mac got home she sat down on the couch with a sigh

"You all right?"

"Yeah, just I didn't remember how much I missed her until I saw her again and had to say goodbye so soon"

"Well you promised to talk more often and I don't doubt that you will. It was nice for me to finally meet her"

"Yes and Jack"

"They are very nice people, and Harriet and Bud seemed to get along very well with Janet and Daniel"

"Well they do have a lot in common, it's strange isn't it? They both have one child, the same age, lost a baby and are now pregnant all the same time, the only difference is that Harriet has a boy and lost a girl and Janet has a girl and lost a boy. The only other difference is Cassie who is practically Sam's anyway"

"It is all very interesting"

"Mmm" Mac said distantly, she picked up the photo album she got for her birthday and put some photos from the car wash they had taken

"You really miss her don't you?"

"Yep" Mac looked at the photos, there was a great action shot of Singer having water poured over her, any other circumstances she would be laughing at that photo

"With any luck something will go wrong there and someone will need an attorney"

"That would be nice, we may even get clearance to find out what they really do"

"Most of their life was classified wasn't it?"

"It was, it makes me wonder if they are really doing deep space telemetry in that mountain"

"Don't forget some of our lives are classified"

"But not that much, I don't even think Cassie is from Toronto"

"It was a little strange"

"Well I'll talk to her soon" Harm smiled and sat beside her, she rested her head against his shoulder and he stroked her silky hair Mac put the photo album aside and put her arms around him

"Why don't we go to bed?" he suggested cheekily

"You flyboys" she said with a smile, nonetheless she kissed him and he carried her off into their bedroom closing the door.

The next morning they returned to Dr Caldwell's office for a test, he drew some blood and they left with the promise of a call as soon as the test results were in. They thanked Dr Webster and headed off to work, Mac went off to meet Sturgis to make a deal on the case they were working on and Harm went to talk to Bud for the same reason.

Cheyenne Mountain One Week Later

Sam sat down next to Jack in the Commissary opposite Daniel and Teal'c, they were talking about the rebellion and how everything was going. Sam ate quietly, happy to listen to the reports and glad everything was going well, she missed Mac, she'd not missed her too much before but now she had seen her again, she missed her heaps. After breakfast she and Jack went to talk to Janet and get an update on the treatment, they sat down in Janet's office and as they were waiting Jack asked her about her silence

"I just miss Mac you know?"

"Yeah, it's ok though, you're supposed to talk to her tonight aren't you?"

"Yeah, I think so, if neither of us are doing something" Janet chose that moment to walk in and cut off the conversation, she put a folder on her desk and sat down looking at the two officers staring apprehensively at her, her face broke into a smile

"Congratulations you two, the results are positive" They sat there shocked looking at Janet for awhile until Jack broke the silence

"Wh-What?"

"You're gonna have a baby" said Janet, Sam squealed and hugged Jack

"Wow, thanks Janet" Sam hugged her friend tightly

"Congratulations"

"How far along am I?"

"About a month"

"Thank you Janet"

"No problem, go tell General Hammond, I bet he'd be just as happy as you two"

10 minutes later

"Congratulations Colonel, Major, Lord knows you deserve this"

"Thank you sir"

"I guess that means you're off active duty for awhile major?"

"I don't know sir"

"Well I'm taking you off active duty anyway, nobody knows what gate travel will do to you and the baby"

"Dr. Fraiser said I was about a month pregnant which means I have been through the gate since my pregnancy"

"Well I'll talk to her and see what she recommends"

"Yes sir"

"In the meantime, take some time off, starting now, have a good day"

"Thank you sir" They both got up and as they were leaving General Hammond spoke again

"Sam"

"Yes sir?"

"Congratulations, you really deserve it"

"Thank you sir" They both headed off to their respective offices and then to Sam's lab to pack up for the day, changed and Jack took her out to lunch

JAG offices

Mac sat down heavily in her chair, It had been a week and she hadn't come close to striking a deal with Sturgis, his client was guilty as sin and he knew it too but he was just doing his job, Harm walked in and sat down opposite her

"How did it go with Bud?"

"No deal, you?"

"Same thing, although we both know Williams is guilty as sin"

"Same as Johnson anyway they're just doing their jobs"

"Mmm"

"Lunch?"

"Sounds good" They both got up and went to the local café for lunch

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	6. Telling Mac and Results

Chapter 6

Mac sat down in her office after a nice lunch with Harm, she looked at the phone, wondering about the test, it had taken a week already and she was desperate. She knew it was nothing but the curiosity was getting the better of her, what if by some slim chance she was? She sat there staring at the phone for 10 minutes when she shook it off and went back to her work. Later on that day the phone rang and she picked it up, although she tried to quell her anticipation and hope it rose with her heart in her throat she said a tentative

"Hello?"

"Hello it is Amelia from Dr Caldwell's office with your test results"

"And?" Mac said trying to stop the excitement

"Sorry, again nothing" Mac's heart fell

"Thank you Amelia"

"Dr Caldwell said get back onto the pills and to get an appointment in two weeks" Mac booked an appointment and sighed as she put down the phone, although she knew before the phone had rang that there would be nothing as usual the tiny glimmer of hope always seemed to get the better of her when the time came for her results to be said. Just then Tiner knocked on her door

"The Admiral would like to see you in his office ma'am"

"Thanks Tiner" to no surprise as she walked out of her office she met Harm and they walked together into the Admirals office. They also came across Bud and Sturgis in his office, and Mac knew they had to report on their respective cases.

By the end of the day Mac was glad to be home, she hadn't been able to talk to Harm yet and she was close to crying in the admiral's office and he had noticed but she had managed to avoid the topic until now, she decided to tell him, she walked into the bedroom where Harm had just finished changing.

"I got a call from Dr. Caldwell's office today"

"And"

"Nothing"

"Oh Mac" he said softly, he walked over to her and wrapped her in his embrace, she rested her cheek against his chest and fought the tears "It's OK to cry"

"I should be used to this by now" she said loosing her battle as one tear made it's way down her cheek

"Used to being denied one thing you want the most, I don't think so" After a pause he said "let it all out Sarah" that was enough for Mac, more tears began to fall like the last and they stood there for awhile, Harm comforting her as she cried. As the tears subsided Mac apologised once again

"You shouldn't have to put up with this"

"For you I'd do anything" and in an effort to cheer her up a bit he said "Aren't you supposed to talk to Sam tonight?"

"Yes" said Mac with a smile, quickly pecking her husband on the cheek and going to the phone and dialling her friend's number Harm sighed and smiled as he left her to talk to Sam.

After a few rings Sam answered.

"Hello?"

"Sam?"

"Mac! How are you?"

"Okay"

"Only Okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be all right though"

"What is it? Tell me"

"Just another no from the fertility clinic"

"Oh Mac, how are you dealing?"

"I spoke to Harm about it this afternoon and he's been looking after me, I'm feeling better. How's your treatment going?" Sam was silent for a while, she didn't know how to tell Mac she was pregnant when she had just said that hers was negative "Sam?"

"I'm Pregnant," she said meekly

"Wow Sam that's great!"

"I'm sorry Mac"

"What are you sorry about?"

"Well telling you about my luck when you just got a negative result"

"Don't worry Sam, it's okay, you deserve it"

"Thanks, how is Harriet going?" said Sam trying to change the subject from pregnancy difficulties

"She's great, very happy you know?"

"Yeah same with Janet"

"You know I gotta go but I'll talk to you next week okay?"

"Yeah, hope you get your miracle"

"Thanks" they both hung up and Mac sighed, talking to Sam didn't seem to have the effect on her mood that she'd hoped for, now Sam and Jack had got their miracle and she and Harm were still childless. Mac walked into her room and sat on her bed, curled up into a ball and rested her head on her knees, she refused to let herself cry but she thought hard about their problems. A little bit later Harm entered the room and put an arm around her

"What's wrong babe?"

"Sam's pregnant," she said not moving her head

"Wow," he said, he thought about what his wife had just said, the very thing he was trying to get her mind off she was now thinking about more "Oh honey" she let out a dry sob "it's okay to cry" but she didn't think she cold cry any more, the grief was still there though.

A/N: sorry it's taken awhile but I have now sped up my procedures, my beta has been really busy and so has my life so I'll get the next ones up asap I've been writing diligently at the moment 


	7. Sickness

Chapter 7

For the next few weeks Mac worked harder that she possibly could. Harm was in court and she decided to prepare everything before it was her turn then move onto the next case, she wanted to keep her mind off her failed pregnancy and Sam's happiness. The photo on her desk from the night they all went out to dinner was face down because she had caught herself looking at it with tears running down her cheeks so until she was over it she would leave it where it was.

She looked at her finished copy of the closing argument, of course it would be changed throughout the proceedings but she had less to do when she had to get them ready. She coughed, it wasn't winter so she shouldn't be getting sick, she coughed again and sighed. Getting up she went into the break room and got herself a bottle of water out of the fridge, as she was walking back across the bullpen she coughed again, taking a sip of water she entered her office and closed the door. Harriet looked suspiciously at her closed door and wondered what was wrong with Mac, maybe she was pregnant.

Harm had just finished his closing argument, after a week of this trial all they had to do now is wait for the verdict. They left the courtroom and Harm was on his way to his office after getting himself a bottle of water and he passed Harriet who stopped him.

"Uh, Commander?"

"Yes Lieutenant?"

"I'm just a little bit worried about the Colonel"

"What's wrong?"

"She has a cough and it worries me a little, it sounds horrible"

"Thanks Harriet, I'll go and check on her" He turned and walked towards her room and knocked her heard the familiar

"Enter" and her walked in. Mac was on the phone and she gestured for him to sit down, Harm took a seat and watched her intently. She finished her conversation and put the phone down with a sigh before going into a ragged coughing fit.

"Mac?" Harm said going round to her side of the table she stopped and took a few deep breaths "Are you all right?"

"Yes" she said unconvincingly

"Mac what's wrong?"

"Nothing, its just a little cough"

"In the middle of spring?"

"Lots of people get coughs in summer so why can't I have one in spring?"

"Because you sound like that," he said

"I feel fine"

"Have you been stressed out with anything lately?"

"No I'm fine"

"Mac" He looked over to her 'out' box and it was very full

"You have been doing a lot" but before she could answer there was a knock on her door, it was Tiner

"Sorry Ma'am but the judge has a verdict for you sir"

"Thanks Tiner," he nodded and left, harm turned to Mac "we're not finished here, take it easy" he knelt down in front of her, "If this is because of the events of last week I want you to take some time off so we can talk ok?"

"It's not" she said smiling but Harm knew it was and he wasn't going to let this go so easily.

Fifteen minutes later Harm left the courtroom smiling, that man deserved what he got and he will most certainly learn his lesson by the time he is out. As he headed to the Admiral's office to brief him on the findings with Bud he walked past Mac's office and heard her coughing again, before he burst in she stopped and Bud was already outside the Admiral's office he looked back at Mac's door before walking into the Admiral's office with Bud. He and Bud returned a few minutes later after discussing the outcome of the case with the Admiral and Harm went straight to Mac's office

"Oh you won't find her in there sir" said Harriet

"Why not?"

"Because she just went to the bathroom"

"Is she all right?"

"She says she's fine"

"And you believed her?"

"I am planning to go in after her if she hasn't come out in 10 minutes"

"Ok, How long has she been in there for?"

"About 5" Harm sighed, he knew something was wrong "Mind if I wait with you?"

"No Sir, take a seat" Harm sat on a chair next to her and they waited, 5 minutes later, just before Harriet went in Mac came out. Harm jumped off his chair and went to her office, she had closed her blinds and was just about to sit down when he entered.

"Are you all right?" he said looking at her pale face

"Yeah"

"Are you sure?" he went over to her and knelt down in front of her and picked up her hands, before he had the chance to say anything he realized they were shaking. "Mac?"

"Maybe I'm a little sick"

"A little? Mac, I think I should take you home"

"No! I'm fine"

"No, you're not, I'm gonna go and talk to the Admiral"

"Harm" she pleaded

"Not today Mac", Harm left her room and went straight to the Admirals office.

Later

"She has court next week commander"

"I know sir but she's really sick, she even admits it"

"Well in that case, give me a ring on Monday if she gets worse"

"Yes Sir, Thank you Sir"


	8. What's Wrong?

Chapter 8 - What's wrong?

Sam sighed thinking about Mac, she hadn't called this week, she was sorry she'd told her about their baby

"What wrong honey?" Jack said walking into her lab

"Just thinking about Mac"

"What's wrong, is she ok?"

"Yeah, she's just been given the opposite news to us, they're having more trouble than expected"

"She has endometriosis, of course it's going to be harder for them, I'm sad for them too but don't get so down on it, would it help if we went and saw them next time we get leave?"

"You, leave?"

"Right well next time we need some JAG's I'll get them OK?"

"Deal" he hugged her and kissed her forehead

"Don't worry they'll get their miracle"

Virginia

Mac was coughing harshly again, Harm had done everything he could think of, at least she was asleep for now, and she may not be for long if she kept his up for long. He heard her moan and walked into their room and sure enough her found her gasping for breath, wide-awake

"That's it Marine, we're going to Bethesda now"

"Harm"

"No, come on, I know you hate the hospital and doctors and all that but for me? Please, I'm really worried about you" Mac knew that he would never say that unless it was true so she got up and allowed him to help her to the car.

Later in the Doctor's office

"Well Colonel I've heard you have a bit of a cough" Mac nodded, "well let's just get straight into it shall we?" the doctor was a kind young woman and she helped Mac pull up her shirt and listened intently to her chest "It sounds pretty bad unfortunately" Mac began to cough again and the poor doctor was shocked at what she saw and heard, and seeing the look on Harm's face he was very worried, she was having trouble breathing and her whole body shook with each cough

"My goodness Colonel, that is some cough" Mac stopped and nodded sheepishly "And it also sounds like it had been building up for quite some time"

"Mac?" Harm said

"Not really, it only started a few days ago"

"Wow, I think you need to stay for a couple of days for tests and recuperation, from this I think you have an advanced lung infection but we'll do more tests and find out. If you'll just follow me" she lead Harm and Mac into a room and asked Mac to change into a robe which she did unwillingly and lay on the bed waiting for her to come back

"Mac, I'll be here with you every step of the way" Mac nodded not wanting to speak and start herself coughing again. When the doctor came back in a few nurses followed her.

"Ok Colonel, we need to take you in to get a chest x-ray" Mac nodded and Harm stood when they began to wheel her bed away "I'm sorry sir, but you can't come too, if you don't mind waiting here. Harm sad down again to wait, Mac kept eye contact until they wheeled her completely out of sight, Harm wasn't worried about the x-ray they were taking, he was worried about what they were gonna find.

After half an hour they wheeled her back in and the doctor began to talk about what they were hoping to find from the x-rays they had done. A few minutes later a nurse walked in and handed the doctor an envelope.

"Would you like to come too sir?" she asked Harm

"No thanks, I think I'll stay with my wife" he sat holding her hand until the doctor returned a little while later with the x-rays back in the envelope.

"The Colonel seems to have a very advanced form of a chest infection, shown by the x-rays we took, we are going to have to keep her in for a few weeks and pump her with antibiotics to dry out her lungs and heal them up a bit" Mac lay back and sighed as the doctor finished and left

"Don't worry, I'll be here the whole time"

"No, you should go home and let Chegwidden know that I won't be in for two weeks or so"

"I know you don't like Hospitals, are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"No"

"Does that men no stay, or no go?"

"No I'm not sure but you can go because I'm fine, come tomorrow"

"Ok" he left after placing a quick kiss on her forehead and going via the doctor to talk to him and be told he needed a shot of anti-biotic so he didn't get the infection too.

That night Harm called AJ and told him about Mac and that she had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks and then have bed rest the following week or maybe two if it was needed. AJ said that he would re arrange the court dates and nothing would have to give because she was sick.

"Thank you Sir"

"No problem commander, just look after that wife of yours"

"I'll be in next week but when she is at home I'll have to stay with her"

"That's fine commander, just let me know when you need the time off"

"Will do sir, thank you very much"

"Good bye, son"

"Good bye" they hung up and Harm went to bed, changing into his sleeping boxers and curling up in bed, it felt empty without Mac and he missed the warmth that she often gave to him.

Mac was having the same problem that night but unlike Harm was unable to fall asleep, she had tubes pumping things into her and missed Harm deeply, she lay there looking at the roof and sighed, past midnight she fell asleep. The next morning Harm came in to visit before work and found her fast asleep, leaving a teddy bear dressed in female marine greens on her bedside table with a card that he had written over breakfast, he lay a kiss on her forehead and left.

Harm found it difficult to work that day, he wasn't too worried about her because she was in the best hands possible but his missed her smiling face and her looks from over the bullpen. As soon as he finished work he went straight to Bethesda and into her room

"Harm" she said smiling

"Hey baby" he came and kissed her gently "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better actually"

"That's good" he sat down on a seat and looked at her, she was looking better

"Thank you for the bear" she said pointing to the bear on her bed

"I couldn't resist"

"It's cute"

"I missed you today" he said

"Me too" she moved over and patted the space beside her "Please sit down" he moved onto the spot, taking his shoes off and sit down beside her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She laid her head on his shoulder and put an arm around his waist, "I missed you so much" he kissed her temple gently

"I can have some time off if you want me to stay tomorrow"

"No, stay at work, in a few weeks I will need you to care for me when I go home"

"Ok" he held her closer and she soon fell asleep on his shoulder, the nurse came in and put her dinner on the table,

"I'll get her to eat it when she wakes" Harm said softly, the nurse nodded and left


	9. Hospital Life

Chapter 9

The week snailed past and soon enough Mac was getting much better, she still had to stay for another week but it was getting easier and Harm came every day.

"Hey" he said walking into her room after work

"How's JAG?"

"Fine, we miss you though" he looked over to her bedside table were there were flowers and cards everywhere from JAG personnel. Unfortunately the doctor said no chocolate, which annoyed Mac but she was coping without it

"I miss you too"

"Have you called Sam lately? I got a call from her last night and told her what was going on, she seemed worked up about it although I told her not to worry"

"Oh my! I haven't called her since I have been here, no wonder she is worried, I'll do that tonight"

"I don't mind if you call her now" he said

"No really, it's fine, they probably won't be home now anyway"

"True, how are you feeling?"

"Much better, I can't wait to get home"

"Dr. Caldwell called too, I cancelled our appointment and said we'd call when you were out" Mac nodded and patted the bed next to her, Harm sat on the side of the bed and gave her a hug, she held him close

"I know I've said this before but I really miss you" she laid her head on his chest

"I know and you'll be out in another week"

"I can't wait"

"You know you still won't be able to go to work for another week after that?"

"Yes but at least I will have a change from white walls and uncomfortable beds"

"True" the nurse came in and set Mac's Dinner on the table and wheeled it over to her

"Thank you" she said taking the lids off the food and picking up the cutlery, she had soup and a roll with what was supposed to be apple pie for dessert, she picked up the spoon and dipped it into the soup

"I should get going baby, I'll see you tomorrow" he kissed her forehead and picked up his cover

"I love you"

"Me too baby" he picked up his briefcase and left

When Mac had finished her food she decided to call Sam, she picked up the phone and dialled

"Hello?"

"Sam, It's Mac"

"Mac! How are you, are you all right? What's wrong?"

"Sam, everything is fine, just calm down a bit, I had a lung and chest infection, but I'm much better now, I've been in hospital for a little over a week and I've been told I'm healing nicely"

"Oh, that's good, when Harm sad you were in the hospital I was so worried"

"How is everything going? How are you feeling?"

"Great actually, it'll be three months in about 5 days, it's really exciting, and Janet sends her love, she looks great by the way, she'll be seven months soon and little Kim is so excited, it's going to be another girl. How's Harriet?"

"She's doing fine, same really, seven months soon but it is another boy this time"

"That's great, Jack is going to take me out to dinner so I have to go and get ready, I'll talk to you soon okay?"

"Okay, bye"

"See ya" They both hung up their respective lines and Sam went to get changed. Mac lay in her bed and thought of what they had just spoken about, happy families, women who were having babies, a tear escaped from her eye, why was it so hard for them, whey couldn't it be that easy? She began to think of her treatment and their next step…

Mac decided that since she was being discharged tomorrow she would go for a walk, her drip was gone and she was even allowed to wear her own pyjamas at the hospital now, she decided to go for a walk around. She told the lady at the nurses' desk she was going for a walk, as she was getting to the garden on the bottom floor she walked past the nursery and looked into the room with all the bassinets and tiny babies, a tear fell from her eye and she quickly wiped it away. She went to turn around but before she did a man spoke

"Which one is yours?"

"Huh?"

"I saw you looking in I just assumed that you were a mother"

"Well, you assumed wrong, I can't have kids, it doesn't stop us trying but I can't"

"I'm sorry, really"

"It's not your fault"

"Look, I'm about to get my daughter, would you like to hold her?"

"Thanks but it's ok, wouldn't your wife be upset about that?"

"No, she died having her"

"Oh, I'm so sorry"

"You didn't know, it's not your fault" Mac smiled

"Well, Maybe I could see her, for a little while" He went in and brought a tiny child wrapped in pink out of the nursery

"Her name is Sarah," he said handing her to Mac

"She's beautiful, my name is Mac by the way"

"Mac?"

"My maiden name was Mackenzie, the guys called me Mac when I was training and it just stuck" (A/N: yes this is true I know it was wrong in the other chapter) Mac smiled at the baby in her arms who looked back at Mac with big blue eyes

"I'm David"

"Nice to meet you, Thank you" she passed baby Sarah back to her dad and left, tears in her eyes. She heard the baby crying and her dad trying to soothe her, she wanted to go back to her but continued to walk away, tears now streaming down her face.

The next day Harm came and took her home, she had to spend a week of work then the following week had to be 2 days at work, the week after 3 days then back to a five day week, Mac didn't mind this so much because at least she was able to be somewhere else than the hospital. On Tuesday Mac brought up the prospect of IVF treatment, she initially had decided against it but changed her mind when she was up in the nursery at the hospital.

"Really? I thought you were totally against that, because of mess ups and stuff"

"I changed my mind, I ran into a man, while I was walking and he had a baby girl, I held her Harm, she was so precious, I realised IVF may be the only way we're gonna get that"

"Mac, don't you want to wait to go to IVF though?"

"I'm done with waiting Harm, all those disappointments, I spoke to Sam and all se spoke about was babies, hers, Janet's, Harriet's and the reason I was in Hospital was far from having a baby"

"Aww Mac, if that's what you want, we can book an appointment when you go back to work full time"

"OK" Mac knew that She wouldn't be able to get an appointment any earlier because of what the doctor had said at the hospital so she agreed and hoped that soon she and Harm would have their Miracle

A/N: sorry it has been so late but I am getting ahead again and have the whole of the next chapter planned I promise it won't be so long again, Dad was in hospital, I went on camp, busy chrissy and new year and now I have these back thingos anyway, I hope to get another one up before I go back to school for year 11 in a few weeks

CharmedAli


	10. Trials and tribulations

Chapter 10 – Trials and Tribulations

A/N: Just to let you know a lot of this is guess work so if I get details wrong it's because I am too young to really know anything about it.

Harm and Mac walked into Dr. Caldwell's office, hand-in-hand, after discussing IVF more thoroughly, they agreed to meet with the doctor and look at their options.

"Well it's good to see you back again Colonel"

"Thank you Doctor"

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better thanks"

"Ok, you have said that you would like to try IVF yes?"

"Yes"

"I trust you have read the information sent to you?"

"Yes"

"So you are going to have to stay here when you start taking the drugs just in case, some women have different reactions to different medications so we have to be careful and then you need to come in often so we can check to see when we can remove your eggs. You also have to know that some drugs may not work for you either"

"OK"

"If you would like to make an appointment, when it is established that the drugs are working we will then need an appointment for the commander"

"Would a weekend be okay for the initial appointment?"

"Yes but you would have to come back later in the week to determine weather or not you were actually producing eggs"

"Thank you"

"See you soon" They stood up and booked their appointment for Friday and the weekend and another appointment Wednesday of the next week after work for a follow-up

That Friday after work Harm drove Mac to the clinic and they set her up in a room and soon after they got there a nurse came in with a chart and some medication

"OK Colonel, we are gonna start you on some medication, if you start feeling sick or if something feels strange call us so we can asses what is happening, we don't know if this will work or what effect the medication will have on you so we can't just send you home" Mac nodded and swallowed the pills she was given. Harm sat with her and chatted for awhile until Mac groaned

"What's wrong?"

"I feel kinda dizzy and nauseous" Harm pressed the call button and the nurse came in, by that time Mac had rushed to the bathroom and the nurse understood. When Mac came back she was told to rest and they would try something else. After a couple of hours the nurse came back in and gave Mac some different pills and told her to sleep before telling them to call if there was a problem overnight. Harm settled into the other bed in the room and lay down.

"Harm, stay with me" she said

"I'm just here are you all right?"

"I think so, just hold me, please?" Harm got up and went over to her; he squeezed into the bed with her and wrapped his arms around her, her head buried in his chest.

The next morning Mac awoke in Harms arms, happy she lay there looking at Harm and decided to shower and change. Harm awoke to the sound of the shower turning off; he stretched and got out of bed, knowing he too would have to take a shower. Mac came out of the bathroom and Harm kissed her gently before walking into the bathroom. Mac sat on the bed and silently prayed that they would be able to get their miracle from all this, Breakfast was brought into her a little while later along with some more medication, she and Harm ate in silence and she took the pills in the small cup. They went for a walk around the gardens and sat on a seat

"How are you feeling?" he said, arm around her

"Not too bad, I'm getting cramps though"

"Do you want to go back?"

"Not yet" he kissed her gently and she rested her head on his shoulder, they stayed like that for a while until Mac moved and flinched

"What's wrong?"

"Just a little sore"

"I think we should go back now"

"No, I'm fine"

"Mac," she relented and he helped her up, she let out a little moan and they walked back slowly, Harm's hand never leaving her back. When they got back to the room he helped her lie down then pushed the call button for the nurse who rushed in.

"What's wrong?"

"She's having bad cramps" The nurse prodded around a bit and concluded that everything was fine it was normal and left. "Why don't you rest awhile?" Harm said Mac nodded and made herself more comfortable and Harm closed the door and curtains before kissing Mac on the forehead and let her sleep, taking the opportunity to go outside and call Harriet who wanted him to let her know how Mac was.

At the end of the weekend Mac was sent home knowing that everything was going fine and she should come back Wednesday afternoon to have another check and possibly to remove the eggs. Harm also made an appointment for his 'donation' and they left.

Wednesday came and Mac left work with an overnight bag just in case and she and Harm went again to the hospital. They were told it would be longer but to keep going for regular check ups.

2 weeks later

With all the time that had passed Mac was getting a little anxious, they had been going for follow-ups a lot and they were just being told, not yet, not yet. Again Mac packed up her office and went to the car for another check, praying that this time it would be time.

"Well everything looks all right, we should do the procedure tonight, I'll send a nurse in to get you prepped" Mac nodded and harm was escorted out to make his 'donation'. He returned when Mac was prepped and ready and stayed with her as long as he could, Mac was wheeled out fast asleep and left in recovery as Harm sat beside her holding her hand. The next morning they went home with the promise of a call in two days time, they filled in forms saying what they wanted to happen and how many embryos they wanted implanted then they left.

Two days later

Mac reached for the phone on her desk

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mrs. Rabb?"

"Yes"

"The embryos are ready for implantation, it would be best if you came in this afternoon for the procedure"

"Ok, what time"

"As soon as you can"

"I finish work at 4 so I can be in at 4:30"

"Great, see you then"

"Thank you" Mac hung up the phone and walked across the bullpen to tell Harm

"Harm?"

"What's up?"

"They're ready"

"When?"

"They want me tonight"

"Are you OK?"

"I don't know if I'm ready"

"C'mere" he said standing and opening his arms to her, she walked over and stood in his arms "everything is gonna be fine, and you don't have to do it if you're not ready" Mac nodded and he kissed her gently

"I love you," she said, "You always seem to know what to say"

"I love you too" Mac left his office and got back to work, all too soon it was four o'clock and time to pack up. Mac walked slowly to the car thinking hard, she got into the car and looked over at Harm before nodding, he drove off and the rest of the journey was spent in silence.

"Are you Ok?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You've just been very quiet"

"Just thinking"

"You know if you're not ready you don't have to go through with it, I'll support you in whatever you think"

"It's Fine, Thank you though" They kissed and got out of the car and walked together to wards the hospital, Harm's hand never leaving her.

Mac was lead into a room and robed up, she lay on the gurney and Harm came to meet her

"I love you" he said Holding her hand, Mac was hooked up to an IV and wheeled out of the room

2 weeks later after the procedure and a more recent follow up Mac was sitting in her office and working hard, the phone brought her out of her thoughts and she answered

"Hello?"

"Hello, Sarah, its Dr. Caldwell here"

"Hello Doctor how are you?"

"Very well thank you, I have the results of your IVF treatment"

"Ok, can you hang on a minute?"

"No problem" Mac arose and closed the door and blinds of her office and returned to the phone

Harm looked across the bullpen, he had every time Mac's phone had rung but he was sure this was it because she had shut the blinds, a few minute later she came out of the room and walked into his

"And?" He already knew, there were tears streaming down her face and he went over to her and held her tight Tears streaming down his own

"I'm pregnant" The grin on her face was all he would ever remember for years to come. They kissed passionately and walked out together to tell the Admiral and no doubt anyone they ran into.

That night Harm took Mac to a celebratory dinner and then they had a walk in the park with some ice cream for dessert, the next night they had a surprise party at the Roberts' they thought it was just going to be the four of them and the kids but everyone was there, Jen, Sturgis, AJ and even Singer made an appearance. Mac was shocked and wondered what the baby shower would be like after all this.

1 month later

Mac was working on a case silently in her office, she got up to get a file and felt a sharp pain in her abdomen and let out a cry, her legs trembled and she collapsed, she did the only thing that she could think of

"Harm?" The strangled cry rang out through the bullpen; Harm was by her side in a second

"What is it, what's wrong?" All she could do was cry, tears were streaming down her face, she knew what was happening and Harm understood, he kissed her gently on the forehead, whispered into her ear, lifted her off the floor and he ran with her to the car. Mac cried on the way to the hospital and Harm held her hand, half way there Mac cried out,

"What's wrong?" asked Harm

"It hurts, it has never hurt this bad before", she doubled over and her arms went around her stomach, she groaned, "Make it stop!"

"We're almost there, you'll be ok", He kissed her palm and drove as fast as the speed limit allowed.

When they got there Harm carried her into the hospital, by then she was bleeding but he knew the seat in the car could be cleaned, The lady at the desk directed them to a room where she was prepped and wheeled away, Harm sat on a chair and waited, prayed that the baby would be all right, they had had a month of bliss and happiness and hoped it was just a scare but with the pain she had clearly experienced and it had to be bad before Mac even acknowledged it he was doubtful. Soon enough they returned and said they tried but there was nothing they could do, they were just too late. Harm cried when he heard the news, he knew he'd have to get it out before Mac woke up, she'd need his support when she woke up

A/N: wow-ee that is a long one but you deserved it for putting up with all this nonsense; I have been so busy lately anyway I hope you all enjoyed it, I have got even more planned, it was going to be longer but I have 6 pages already!

WestWingFeminista, starryeyes10, MichelleUK – thanks guys,

Froggy0319 – Thanks for all your encouragement I love reading your reviews

Julie M – Thanks for your supportive words – those who don't like the fic much read her words of wisdom!

Ehangel, becky207 – here you go!

I promise that is the last upset they have, just so you know, I can't stand it much longer myself! THERE WILL BE NO MORE UPSETS just to emphasize my point

Anyway cheerio!

CharmedAli

P.S. don't forget to review


	11. Finding out

Chapter 11

Mac stirred and looked over to Harm who was sitting in a chair beside her bed, she could tell he'd been crying, it had been a while ago and she knew she'd lost the baby. She looked at his face

"It's gone" She said, more a statement, trying to stay detached.

"Yes"

"I'm sorry," she said

"What for?" It's not your fault"

"It is, it's all my fault"

"Oh baby" he pulled his chair closed and held her hand in both of his "I know you'd never do anything to intentionally hurt any baby of ours"

"If it wasn't for this disease, we'd have a baby by now, if not two, I don't know why you don't divorce me"

"How could you say that? I love you and if we never have children, I don't care I'll still love you and you didn't choose to get this disease"

"You always say the right thing" she smiled, tears flowing down her cheeks, he didn't notice when she started to cry but he reached out and brushed her tears away

"How are you feeling, pain wise I mean"

"I'm a bit sore"

"Do you think I can give you a hug?"

"Yeah" He wrapped his arms around her and moved onto the bed, executing a quick manoeuvre and she was sitting on his lap on the bed. She buried her head in his chest and cried for their lost child. Soon enough Mac had cried herself to sleep. Harm was used to this and knew she needed her rest so he left her to sleep. Kissing her forehead he went to the cafeteria to get himself a salad and ate it quickly before returning to her room to find her stirring again and just after she woke up Dr. Caldwell walked in

"Well Sarah, how are you feeling today?"

"Still a little sore"

"That's expected, well I'm just going to have a poke then you should be all right to go home, Now tell me where it hurts" he began to push gently on her stomach. When he was done, he wrote on her chart and then continued, "You know the drill unfortunately, so while you bleed, avoid tampons, heavy exercise and night time activities. If you feel weak, dizzy or light headed, call an ambulance right away and come in. Otherwise if Harmon will come and sign the papers you can come home, Oh, and don't go back to work for at least two to three days, try next week. I'll see you when you are ready to try again, take your time" He and Harm walked out and Mac gingerly got out of bed and changed before they brought in a wheelchair, she had learnt not to try and reject the wheelchair anymore and she let Harm wheel her out and then into the car.

When they got home Harm helped her into the house and into bed

"Harm?"

"Mmm?"

"Stay with me please?" He got into bed beside her and held her close

"Try and rest some more OK?" he said kissing her forehead gently. Se bean to cry again "Hey, don't cry, there will always be another chance" he held her close and let her cry

"I can't"

"What?"

" I can't stand it anymore, I can't do this, I'm not strong enough"

"Mac you are the strongest woman I know. It'll be OK"

"No I can't do it I never want to try again"

"Mac, don't say that, I know that you want a baby more than anything else" This only made her cry harder "Honey, you're still grieving, just give it time"

"I can't take it, I can't go through this again" Harm had to strain to her this and just held her closer, tears falling slowly down his own cheeks. She cried herself to sleep and when she was asleep Harm carefully extracted himself and went to call the Admiral

"JAG offices, Petty Officer Coates speaking"

"Jen, its Harm is the Admiral in?"

"Yeah, how's the Colonel?"

"She's sleeping now, still a little sore and upset but she'll pull through, she's a fighter"

"OK, tell her we're all thinking of her, I'll get the admiral for you"

"Hello Commander?"

"Yeah hi, I was wondering how much time I can get off, Mac's not gonna be able to get back till next week"

"Unfortunately, this time I can't spare both of you, I'm gonna need you in tomorrow, sorry Son"

"No worries, Chloe's coming today as a surprise, Mac'll probably sleep a lot and she'll enjoy having Chloe over"

"All right, look after her son, see you tomorrow"

"Thank you sir" He went back to his room and found Mac thrashing and crying in her sleep, he woke her gently and she cried out when she awoke, sitting up and shaking. "Mac what is it? What's Wrong?"

"I did it, it's my fault" Harm sighed this happened every time

"No you didn't honey, relax" he gathered her into his arms and whispered into her ear "Talk to me"

"I keep seeing myself in my dreams that made me lose the baby, like drinking again or too much exercise"

"Mac, don't worry, I know you would never do that and that would never happen, you loved our baby the second you knew you were pregnant" she nodded and stayed curled up in his arms as the tears subsided until the doorbell rang. Harm went to the door, paid the cab man and let Chloe in. "She's in the bedroom, and needs a bit of cheering up" Chloe nodded and ran off to their room while Harm put her bags in her room

"Hi Mac"

"Chloe! What are you doing here?"

"Harm invited me" she carefully sat on the bed, slipped off her shoes and hugged her gently "I've missed you"

"Me too Clo, but you know I can't take you out"

"Yeah, I don't care I have movies and games and everything"

"Wow, thanks"

"Anything for my big sister" she jumped off the bed and went to get her bag of stuff, while she was going she ran into Harm

"Hey Harm"

"Chloe, I have to go to work tomorrow, so I'm giving you the job of looking after Mac and keeping her mind off _things_"

"Aye, Aye sir"

"Thanks Clo" he hugged her and the separated, Chloe going to the guest room and Harm to his and Mac's room.

"Mac?" she looked up

"Hey"

"I spoke to the Admiral today and he said that I have to go into work, I hope you don't mind"

"It's not too bad because I have Chloe" He sat on the edge of the bed next to her and kissed her gently

"How are you feeling?"

"Still a bit sore when I move wrong but not too bad"

"That's good" he kissed her again and Chloe came into the room with her bag

"I'll get dinner, what would you like" Harm said

"Chloe can choose," said Mac looking at her little sister

"How about that veggie lasagne I've heard so much about?"

"Veggie lasagne it is" he left and Chloe opened her bag

"I have photos, games, movies, everything"

"Let's see your photos" Chloe pulled out her album and turned it to the most recent pages

"This is my new horse Coco," she pointed to a photo of herself on a brown horse with a white spot on its head with a huge grin plastered on her face

"Wow, she's a beautiful hose, it is a she right?"

"Yeah" Chloe continued to show her photos of her friends and everything else, telling Mac funny stories and of visiting her father.

Harm stood in the kitchen making dinner and he smiled hearing them laughing, glad that Mac wasn't upset anymore. He put the dinner in the oven and went back to them

"What's all this laughing?"

"I was just telling Mac about my friend who fell down the escalator at the mall" Chloe laughed

"What's so funny about that?"

"She was going up the escalator" Harm began to laugh too and looked over at Mac who was laughing but looked like it hurt, he sat on the other side of her and wrapped an arm around her waist before kissing her on the cheek. They continued to talk about various things before the bell on the oven rang signalling that dinner was ready. Mac refused to stay in bed for dinner so Chloe helped her walk to the kitchen while Harm went and got the Lasagne out of the oven.

Later that night

Harm lay in bed beside Mac who was already fast asleep he let himself cry, he thought he'd got it all out before now but seeing Mac still in pain and the loss of their 4th child it was getting to be too much, he softly kissed her bare shoulder and joined her in the land of nod.

The next morning he was the first to wake, slipping out of the bed as softly and as quietly as possible so as not to wake Mac prematurely, he went into the kitchen and began to make breakfast. Chloe awoke to the delectable scent of breakfast, she went downstairs to find Harm with bacon, eggs and toast for her and Mac and the same for him without the bacon

"Wow Harm, Thanks"

"No worries, tuck in, I'm gonna go and check on Mac"

"OK, cool" Harm walked into their room to find Mac still fast asleep, so he kissed her gently on the forehead and left, he was a little worried because usually she was awake by now and the small amount of noise he and Chloe had made would have woken her. He re entered the kitchen and ate breakfast. He changed and checked the time again 0830, he had to leave but Mac was still asleep, he kissed her forehead and whispered

"I love you" he left and found Chloe

"See ya Kiddo, I've gotta go to work but make sure Mac has breakfast OK?"

"Yes sir" she said with a mock salute before Harm left.

It was 0900 before Mac woke, she winced when she got out of bed and walked slowly into the kitchen. She found her breakfast, heated it up and began to eat. Chloe came downstairs after her shower and found Mac eating

"Did you sleep well?" She asked

"Mmm" said Mac, Chloe took a seat and they were silent while Mac ate

"Do you want to go for a walk in the park later? Only Harm said it was a good idea, if you don't want to I don't mind"

"No I do, it is a good idea" Mac finished eating and picked up her plate

"I'll do it, why don't you go and have a shower?"

"Are you implying that I smell miss Madison?"

"No, but you always have a shower after breakfast"

"Oh do I?"

"Yes, once a marine, always a marine, you have a schedule"

"Fine" Mac went to have a shower and Chloe cleaned up the plate and put the dishwasher on.

Mac stepped out of the shower and changed, she was getting some cramps but she shrugged them off, it had only been a few days, she hated being so helpless, the tears began to fall again for their lost child. She changed quicker, washed her face and hid the evidence of tears, she went to leave and her stomach protested, she groaned and sat on the edge of the bed, she breathed deeply and went into the kitchen

"OK, Chloe, lets got to the Park, should we pack a picnic?"

"Yeah, I'll bring some games" Chloe ran upstairs while Mac got the food ready, they packed a blanket and walked to the park. Chloe watched Mac spread out the blanket and sit down and noticed that she flinched a few times

"How are you feeling, are you OK?

"Yeah, still a little sore but I'm right" Chloe nodded but wanted to remember to tell Harm later. They spent the day watching joggers, bike riders, dog walkers and young families playing. Tears sprung to Mac's eyes when she saw a family with a navy man, his wife, a toddler and a new baby but tried hard to keep it from Chloe. They lay on the blanket, told stories and played games before eating and walking home.

That night when Harm got home he was surprised with dinner

"Wow guys, thanks" he slipped an arm around Mac's waist and kissed her temple, she turned and kissed him passionately

"Uh! Guys, get a room"

"Sorry Clo" Mac said as they smiled at her

"How are you feeling? Harm asked Mac

"Tired"

"Did you have a rest today?"

"A little, after lunch"

"Clearly not enough, you know you're supposed to rest a lot"

"I didn't have a hard day, we walked a bit but we spent the day lying on a blanket in the park" she was getting a bit defensive, she didn't want to be so helpless

"OK, I'm just worried about you" he hugged her and kissed the top of your head. She rested her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around him

"I love you," she whispered

"Dinner's ready" said Chloe, they pulled apart and Harm kissed her again before leaning down to look her in the eyes

"I love you too" he kissed her again and they sat down for dinner after dinner they sat in the living room and began to watch Sliding Doors, it wasn't really a Harm movie but her sat there holding Mac in his arms and running a hand through her hair. After only half an hour she had fallen asleep and Harm carried her into bed. He kissed her on the forehead and went back out to Chloe

"You can stay and finish the movie, then go to bed, if you need anything I'll be in the study working"

"Kay" Harm walked into the study and looked at the photo of he and Mac on her birthday, he didn't know when it had been taken or who had taken it but he loved it. They were looking into each other's eyes and their arms were wrapped around each other. Next to this there was an ultrasound photo that confirmed Mac's pregnancy, he felt tears pricking at his eyes and put the photo in a drawer. A little over an hour later Chloe came into the room

"Harm?"

"Is the movie over already?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you"

"What's up?"

"It's Mac, I'm worried"

"What's wrong is she OK?"

"Today at the park I noticed she was in a bit of pain"

"Yeah, It should pass but she won't take help, you know she's got that 'I'm a marine, I can take it, kisckass, semper fi' stuff going on"

"Yeah, but there's something else"

"Mmm?"

"There was a couple that looked a bit like you guys there with a baby and toddler and I think it really upset her" Harm frowned

"I'll talk to her, she'll talk when she's ready though" he held out his arms to her "C'mere" she walked over and sat on his knee "This happens, she'll get better and when it stops hurting she'll talk about the inner pain but right now she just needs time. She wants to be OK alone first and I promise she won't go back to work or anything unless I'm 100 sure she's OK" Chloe hugged him

"Thanks Harm"

"No worries" He hugged her again "Now off to bed kiddo" she left and Harm followed, turning off the light and going to their room to find Mac awake, sobbing, her body shaking violently. He almost ran to her side

"Mac, honey, baby, what's wrong?" he gathered her into his arms and rubbed her back soothingly, she didn't answer, she just held onto him as she cried "Honey, you have to tell me if you are OK, is it your stomach?" she shook her head and he held her close "Shhh, It's OK" he rocked her gently, still rubbing her back until she calmed down a bit.

"It's not fair"

"What?" He wondered what could make Mac so distraught

"I just can't forget"

"Talk to me baby, what's wrong?" he kissed her gently

"There was a navy man at the park with his wife and 2 kids, a toddler and a new baby"

"Oh Mac, It's OK"

"No, it'll never be OK, I'm damaged goods Harm, I can never give you that"

"I don't care Mac, I love you all the same"

"Even if we never have children?"

"Even if we never have children, I promise," he kissed her and lay down with her, he stripped down to his boxers and lay beside her "Now just rest" they kissed again and soon fell asleep.


	12. Going Home

Chapter 12

The next morning Mac awoke in cramps, she sat up and moaned

"Mmmac?" Harm said sleepily "what's up?"

"I'm OK, just a cramp"

"It's never been this bad" he said sitting up "I should get you to the hospital"

"I'm fine" Mac insisted

"Then stand up" Mac complied but winced as pain shot across her abdomen

"Come on, let's go"

"What about Chloe?"

"I'll get her" Mac began to walk but flinched with every step so Harm helped her to the car before running to get Chloe

"Wha?"

"I need to take Mac to the hospital, you can come or stay here"

"I'll come"

"Just grab some clothes and let's go" she complied and ran to the car

A couple of hours and many, many tests later Dr. Caldwell entered with her test results.

"Well Colonel, I'm sorry to say you have an infection, you'll have to stay here for treatment"

"How long will that be?" Harm asked

"However long it takes to clear unfortunately" he called a nurse over who hooked up the IV with the medication and left the three of them alone

"How are you feeling?" Harm asked

"Sore and uncomfortable" Harm held her hand and kissed her forehead

"Go and get yourselves breakfast, and changed, I'll be OK for awhile"

"I should call the admiral too" she nodded and they took turns in her bathroom to change before leaving to the cafeteria and Harm called the Admiral

"JAG offices, Petty Officer Coates speaking"

"Jen, Its Harm, is the Admiral in?"

"Harm, where have you been? The Admiral is furious"

"Mac has been hospitalised again"

"What? Is she OK? What's wrong?"

"She has an infection, She'll be OK but she has to stay in until it has healed"

"OK, give her our love, I'll put you through to the Admiral"

"Rabb! Where the hell are you? I ordered you to be in all this week"

"I'm at the hospital Sir, Mac has an infection"

"What?"

"She has an infection from her last miscarriage and has to stay in until she is healed"

"OK son but I still need you in tomorrow, give her our best"

"Thank you sir" he hung up and went to get breakfast with Chloe. When they returned to Mac's room she was fast asleep so Harm took Chloe over to Bud and Harriet's to help Harriet around the house while Bud was working and Harm went back to sit by Mac. A little while later Mac woke up and saw Harm alone

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Better, I needed the sleep"

"That's good" he kissed her forehead

"Where's Chloe?"

"I took her over to the Roberts' to help Harriet our a little bit"

"Oh"

"She's good, also the Admiral wants me tomorrow"

"That's OK, you shouldn't have to hang around me all the time"

"I don't have to but I want to, I want to be here for you"

"Thanks Harm"

"Ohmigosh!"

"What?"

"Harriet's Baby shower is this weekend, can you get her present out and give it to Chloe, she can go for me if she wants"

"Oh, OK"

"And when you pick Chloe up, just let Harriet know that I'm sorry I can't come"

"I'm sure she'll understand" Before Mac could speak again a lady brought a tray of food in for her dinner

"Harm, go home, get some rest and I'll see you later"

"Mac"

"Don't worry so much, I can look after myself just take Chloe home and I'll be fine here"

"OK, I love you" he kissed her on the forehead

"I love you too, now scat" Harm left begrudgingly and prepared to go back to work

2 weeks later

It had been two weeks of tests, hospital food and boredom; Harm had brought her some books from home and she had finished them all, she sat around, did an occasional walk then lay in bed. She had missed a court martial that she would have done had this not happened and Harriet's baby shower, now that she thought about it she didn't want to go anyway because she wouldn't have been able to stand it for very long anyway. But right now she would take that over this, she decided to get up for a walk, she had just eaten lunch, horrible, whatever it was. So she decided to go for a walk in the grounds. The garden was pretty at the moment, the flowers were in bloom and the trees were green, she took a deep breath and smiled, no more pain, she hoped it would be gone soon so she could go home, Dr Caldwell said this morning that it had looked promising. Harm wouldn't be in until after 5 so it seemed safe to go out into the grounds. She took her time wandering around, enjoying the views of the nice garden, she missed the time talking with Sam but she really didn't want to talk about babies right now, the pain was still fresh and a very touchy subject, new children were being born around her and she walked past the nursery every day to get to the grounds.

That afternoon

"Well Colonel, I see no reason why you can't go home but you still have to take it easy, when Harm gets here you are free to go" he sent a nurse in to help her pack up and she waited for Harm for only a few minutes

"How are you going? I hear you can go home" he kissed her gently

"Just get me home sailor"

"Aye, Aye Ma'am" he said giving her a mock salute and picking her up

"I can walk Harm"

"I know" he put her down, picked up her bag and they went home he cooked her dinner then they went to bed

"Where's Chloe?"

"Babysitting AJ, Harriet and Bud are gonna bring her home"

"OK, I missed you sailor"

"Me too, now rest" they soon fell asleep and had a nice weekend before they sent Chloe home on the plane the next day.

"Bye Chloe, I'm so sorry I didn't get to spend much time with you"

"That's OK, I'm just glad you are OK, look after yourself"

"You too honey, now you're gonna miss your flight" Mac kissed Chloe on the cheek and pushed her towards the plane, they waved and Chloe disappeared onto the plane. They were preparing to leave when Harm's mobile phone rang

"Hello?"

"Hello sir, it's Bud"

"Bud, how are you? You know you can call me Harm out side of the office"

"Uh ok, anyway Harriet's having the baby, seeing as you and Mac are the godparents we would like you here"

"OK, see you at Bethesda"

"Thank you sir" they hung up and Harm turned to Mac

"Harriet's having the baby, do you want to go?"

"Do they want us there?"

"Yes"

"OK, lets go"

They spent hours hanging around the hospital, watching, waiting for news on Harriet and their new godson until Bud came out in scrubs with a smile plastered on his face

"It's a boy! His name is Jimmy" Harm and Mac stood up and walked over to Bud, Harm shaking his hand and Mac hugging him "You can see him soon if you want" Bud began to walk away and Harm followed with little AJ, Mac only after locking all her feelings away so she wouldn't look weak to her friends. They walked into a small hospital room and found a very tired looking Harriet holding a tiny bundle in her arms.

"Mummy!!!" little AJ cried as he ran over and climbed onto the bed

"Look honey, this is your little brother, his name is Jimmy" Mac smiled at the picture in front of her, she and Harm walked over and she was passed her godson, she looked down and the tiny form in her arms, his crystal blue eyes gazing up at her, she imagined a tiny baby boy with Harm's looks and her brains, she tried to hold her tears at bay but she couldn't hold them all in, a few tears trickled down her cheeks, she passed him to Harm

"He's beautiful Harriet" the infant began to cry as Harm held him so he was quickly passed back to his mother and needed to be fed

"We'll give you some privacy now" Harm said taking the opportunity to leave and take Mac with him.

In the car on the way home Mac wasn't crying but she stayed silent only muttering a small thanks when he opened the door for her at their home

"Mac, are you OK?"

"Mmm"

"You haven't spoken since we left the hospital"

"Have you got a problem with that? Do I have to speak to you all the time?" Mac was getting very defensive

"No, Mac, I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you" he reached out and touched her arm, she pulled it away like it was burned

"I'm fine" she walked away and went upstairs

"Mac" he watched her go, he debated with himself weather or not to go after her, he thought he would give it some time.

Mac walked into their rec room/den area and sat on their window seat all around her were photos of their friends and the two of them with little AJ, was this what she was destined to live? A life of having fun with other people's children? She'd said to Harm she didn't want to try again but holding that little boy in her arms all she wanted was a child of her own, would she ever get that? The pain was still too much after the last miscarriage, and the infection, she didn't think she could ever deal with that again the risk was too high. She thought about going to see Dr. McCool again but that was stupid, she hated shrinks even though Dr. McCool was a very nice woman, thinking of her shrink she remembered what she had been told about her 4 guarantee, there was still a chance but again she couldn't live with losing another child.

"Mac?" she heard Harm say tentatively, she looked around, he looked worried, he walked over and knelt on the floor beside her "Talk to me," he held out his arms and she fell into them gladly "What's wrong?"

"Their little boy, he has blue eyes"

"So?"

"So, Harm, a baby, your looks and my brains? Recall saying that? That was all I could think about as I looked at that tiny little boy"

"Aww honey" he held her as she cried into his chest "It's gonna be OK, we can always try again"

"No Harm, it's too late for that"

"Why?"

"I can't do it again, I can't survive the pain, there isn't a day I don't think of the children we have lost and what we could have, every day I feel guilty"

"Mac, you know it isn't your fault" Mac nodded slowly but continued to hold onto him, he shifted them so he was sitting on the window seat too and holding her in his lap "I will never stop loving you Mac, even if you can't have kids, you know that don't you?" She looked up at him

"Even if we never have a kid with your looks and my brains?"

"Even if that never happens, my answer will never change"

"Thanks Harm"

"Look, it's getting late, why don't we have dinner and go to bed, we have to get to work tomorrow, unless you don't feel up to it"

"No, I'm good to go"

"OK, then let's get you fed marine"

"Can't go hungry now can I?" he helped her up and they walked down to the kitchen

"Good morning Colonel, Commander,"

"Morning Sir" they said together

"How are you feeling Mac?"

"A lot better thank you sir"

"That's good to hear, I'm glad, Ready to get back to work?"

"Yes sir"

"Well you two have been requested as attorneys at a top secret base within Cheyenne Mountain, I believe you are friends with the Commanding Officer and second in Command on the base"

"Yes, the 2IC is friends with the Colonel here"

"There is not much I can tell you about the case but you will have to sign forms and you'll be filled in once you get there. You leave at 1400, Coates has your travel details, Dismissed" They both stood to attention before saluting and saying

"Aye, Aye sir"

"By the way, I'm glad you're better Colonel"

"Thank you sir" they picked up folders from Coates before going home and packing for their trip

A/N: That's as far as I've got for now, my internet isn't working well at the moment so I'll get the chapters up when I can but there isn't much I can do, so if I don't update for awhile you know why, plus I start school again so this is my holiday work, pretty good seeing as I was made to go on an Intensive Choir camp yawn

JAF 60: Thanks for your supportive review

Jen8f9: as you can probably tell Stargate is coming back into it, you can expect more Stargate action soon

Michelle UK: thanks 4 your review

Froggy 0319: their dreams are not too far away hint, hint


	13. the SGC

Chapter 13

A/N: I'm so sorry this has taken so long I've been busy and had 2 colds in a month and a lot of homework anyway it is the holidays now so here is a long one to say thanks for holding out

Harm and Mac arrived at the entrance to Cheyenne Mountain and were met by an officer.

"Hi my name is… Mac?"

"Petty officer Harris?"

"The one and only, but I'm not a Petty officer anymore, I'm a Lieutenant now"

"Congratulations" They hugged "You remember my husband, Harm"

"I sure do, welcome, please follow me" they were lead through countless checkpoints before being taken into a room called the briefing room and left there until

"Mac!"

"Sam" they hugged quickly, Mac painfully aware of her protruding stomach "How are you feeling?"

"Good, Jack and I are so excited, I'm not really supposed to be here for this but I just missed you so much, How are you feeling by the way I heard you had to spend more time in hospital"

"I'm not too bad, a lot better now. Harriet had her baby," she said quickly, changing the subject

"Really? Girl or boy?"

"Boy, his name is Jimmy and he's really cute"

"Look, I've gotta go but stop by my lab but stop by when you are done, Level 19, I have a plaque"

"She has a plaque," Harm said as Sam left

"So do we"

"Not on our doors"

"Whatever," Mac rolled her eyes at her husband and they stood to attention as the General entered the room

"At ease you guys, take a seat" They did so and looked at him expectantly as he slid folders over to them "This is a court martial on a team we call SG-5, I suppose you have been informed on what this facility really does by now?"

"No"

"Really? Oh well," he walked over to a big red button and pushed it before motioning for them to come over to the window, as the blast doors opened they saw a huge metal-like ring

"What is that?"

"That is a Stargate, I'm not much for the explanations but basically you can travel to different planets through this in a few seconds, it's pretty cool" Harm and Mac look down again to the ring in front of them, Mac looked sceptical and returned to her seat with the other two.

"Yeah so what happened?"

"As far as I know, they were attacked by the Gua'ould which are evil snake head things, people who are taken over by snakes and generally pretty evil, anyway it was a standard recon mission with no occupants on the planet and then the Gua'ould turn up. 2 left behind, one in a coma and they lost their code on the way in. The man in the coma woke up the other day and said, on tape that his leader had organised it, that he was a traitor for the gua'ould. He died mysteriously last night, Colonel Jamison is in the brig awaiting trial, he was unharmed when he came through the gate and we are charging him with negligence, dereliction of duty and we want him investigated because we suspect he is a spy for the gua'ould.

"Well first we will need to see any footage or recordings you have then we can start to interview the accused.

Mac sighed, it had been a long day, and they had looked at every document and all relevant security footage before notifying General O'Neill of who they wanted to see the next day. She dropped onto the large bed in the VIP room while she waited for Harm to shower, when he was done she swapped with him, while she waited for the water to heat up she stripped her clothing and put on a shower cap to protect her hair. She stepped into the warm water and let it relax each muscle in her body, she hadn't told Harm but her back had been bothering her on and off all day, he didn't need to know anyway. She got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel before re-entering their room. Harm kissed her gently before heading back to the bathroom

"Huh?"

"Teeth"

"Mmm" Their conversations had been reduced to this at times, it was all they needed. She put her pyjamas on which just happed to be a pair of his boxers and an old t-shirt and lay down gently on the bed. Harm soon joined her and kissed the back of her neck, she turned over and kissed him deeply, she hadn't been able to think of anything like this since the last miscarriage and resulting infection but now it seemed right, she was ready, but what for? To try again? No. Maybe just to feel loved again, she moaned slowly into his mouth and he pulled away.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I really want this"

"Does this mean you're ready to try again?"

"No, Kiss now, talk later"

"I never keep a woman waiting" he kissed her again and began to remove her clothes.

Mac awoke the next morning still tired and wrapped tightly in Harm's arms, none the less she awoke her sleeping husband, he groaned and rolled over

"Harm we have to get up"

"Uhhhh…"

"UP Sailor!" she said in her best drill-sergeant voice, he sat up immediately and looked around

"Maaccc!" he groaned and cocked his eyebrow before kissing her deeply

"We won't get up if you continue like that"

"I don't care"

"Jack will when we don't turn up at 0900" he groaned again before heading to the bathroom and showering, she rolled out of bed to join him when she felt a sharp pain shoot through her back, she had noticed the pain from the night before but was too preoccupied to notice if it was that bad

'Come on marine, suck it up' she straightened up and went to join Harm in the shower; at least the warm water would ease the pain to some extent.

Later that day they sat down to their first interview, the only unharmed member of SG 5 Colonel Jameson. Harm set up the tape recorder and waited

"Colonel Jameson is that right?"

"Yeah"

"Start by telling us what happened"

"Don't you have my report?"

"Yes but we need you to tell us"

"Well it was just a normal meet and greet, they have a lot of naquada on that planet and we were looking to trade, they don't use it there, I guess the Gua'ould heard they had it too"

"Care to elaborate?"

"They came down in ships and through the 'gate, we didn't have a chance, they captured all of us, they would beat and kill my men one by one, eventually they got to Jones, who we just lost and I tried to get them to stop, eventually they left me alone in a room and Jones was dying, I don't know how I got out, it just worked, I was just lucky I guess."

"Mmm, it was our understanding that the planet what" Harm looked down at his notes "P4X 636" was uninhabited and you were just going to look for mining possibilities"

"I dunno, we didn't get to people, we were also supposed to check if there were inhabitants then just go ahead and take samples"

"OK, I suggest you call a lawyer, Jones woke up a couple of days before he died, he told us everything, this was just a chance to confess"

"Confess what may I ask?"

"That you are in league with the System Lords"

"You don't even know what you are talking about"

"I know enough" Harm knocked on the door and the SF's came in and took him back to his holding cell.

"Well I think that proves everything," Harm said as he turned off the tape recorder

"Yeah"

"You have doubts"

"Huh?"

"Mac did you pay any attention to what I just said?"

"Yeah, I agree, I'm just thinking"

"Are you all right?"

"Fine" he held out his hand to her and she got up wincing a bit at the pain in her back peaked

"Mac, what was that?"

"Nothing, let's go eat, I'm hungry, It's lunchtime"

"Mac, you're rambling"

"I'm fine Harm" he decided to let it drop because she wouldn't talk to him in this state.

As they were getting into the line for the food an officer came up to them

"Excuse me sir, ma'am"

"Yes captain?"

"You have been asked to report to the infirmary" they looked at each other, both confused but they went as requested. When they got there Sam stood up

"What's up?" Mac asked

"Janet is having her baby"

"Now?" said Harm

"Of course now"

"How long has it been?"

"Probably close to an hour, we didn't want to get you out of the interview with Jameson" Mac nodded "It's getting close that's all" they all sat while they waited for Daniel to come out and announce the sex and name. It was only a little while later when he did just that.

"It's a girl, Elizabeth Samantha Jackson" they all stood up and hugged him before he brought the crowd of people in to look. Finally the tiny child got passed to Mac, she had bright blue eyes and the little hair on her head was brown. The bright blue of her eyes reminded her of the intensity of Harm's eyes and once again brought up the fact that she may never be able to give Harm the child he always wanted. Blinking back tears she passed baby Elizabeth back to her mother and quietly excused herself. Harm seeing this followed suit.

As Mac walked along the corridors thoughts rushed through her head, she may never be able to have a child, ever. But then a nagging voice said that if she never tried again of course she wouldn't but the pain was still to fresh especially the nagging pain in her back that was growing by the second, soon enough Harm caught up to her

"Mac, honey, are you all right"

"Fine, what makes you think there is something wrong?"

"Just with the baby and all"

"I'm fine Harm, I'm a big girl, I'm just thinking" he nodded and walked with her in silence for a while. He noticed her slow down a little before gasping, her hand flying to her back

"Mac?"

"I'm OK"

"Are you sure? I think you should rest and I'll get the heat pack" She gave him a withering look "Mac we both know that this means your endometriosis is getting worse, take your meds and rest for a while" she nodded

"I didn't bring my meds"

"I know, but I did" he wrapped an arm around her waist and led her to their room before giving her a pill and going to heat up his pack for her, when he got back she was out like a light so he put the heat under her back and kissed her forehead gently.

Mac sighed as she came out of the makeshift courtroom; the first day of proceedings had finished, the dereliction of duty and negligence was working but every time she tried to link him to being a spy his lawyer would say here say or pick up on the fact that she had no proof. Harm was having the same problem, he was second chair this time and he was having the same problems.

"Hey" he said catching up with her "How have you been doing today?"

"Better"

"You were out like a light last night"

"Yeah, this guy is tough"

"Huh?"

"In the courtroom Harm, hello, we _are_ supposed to be working"

"Sorry, yeah he is"

"I don't know how we're going to get the treason charge"

"Neither, we are gonna need solid proof"

"He died two weeks ago"

"True"

"Well we have one more day, let's get down and try and get better proof, let's hit the footage" Harm nodded and followed. It was dinner time and they had been looking at the same footage for hours, nothing new was coming up and they knew the treason charge was going to be an up hill battle but tomorrow they had their witnesses.

Mac stood from her table, as General O'Neill was lead to the stand.

"General O'Neill would you please account for us what happened when SG-5 or what was left of it stepped through the gate a month ago"

"They were already running late and the klaxons went off which is not unusual for us around here. I got to the control room and was told it was SG-5; I called for a medical team and went down to the gate room to meet them. I was shocked to only find two people coming down the ramp and even more when I was informed that the remaining two were dead. I ordered both to go to the Infirmary although Jameson looked as if he wasn't injured at all."

"Why were you shocked to find that there were two dead?"

"That planet was supposed to be very calm with very little inhabitants, suspected none, we were there to see if we could use the naquadah in the soil."

"What did Colonel Jameson say happened?"

"They were attacked by the Gua'ould and each person was tortured periodically to get information that was refused. I just wondered why he was uninjured"

"Did he have a reason for that?"

"Yes he said he was revived but if that happened any cuts or tears in his BDU's would still be there. I know that because I have experienced it and Dr. Fraiser said there was no trace of the chemical residue in his blood that appears after just one use in the sarcophagus"

"Thank you"

"Colonel, if I may?"

"Yes?"

"I have one main rule on this base, nobody gets left behind, even if they are dead, they still deserve a proper military funeral and the Gua'ould can revive people so it isn't safe to leave people with them."

"Thank you" Jameson's lawyer stood and begun to question Jack on Jameson's reliability and previous record, Mac wasn't really paying attention. When Jack was dismissed she called Janet

"Dr. Fraiser, could you please tell the court the extent of the injuries of the two remaining members of SG-5"

"Well, Corporal Beecroft was pretty bad, heavy beatings to the head, 3 broken ribs, a fractured wrist and countless cuts and bruises"

"And Colonel Jameson?"

"Nothing, he was fine, I wasn't shocked until I got his blood work back"

"What was wrong?"

"Nothing, generally if a person is revived by the Gua'ould there is some trace of a chemical in their blood, there wasn't even a trace"

"Thank you, your witness"

"Isn't it true that the chemical dissipates after a certain amount of time"

"Yes, 48 hours, I'm pretty sure they weren't out there that long"

"Thank you" he sat, defeated

"Would the accused and defence please rise" they did so and the judge continued "On the charge and specification of dereliction of duty, this court finds you, guilty. On the charge and specification of negligence, this court finds you, guilty. On the charge and specification of treason, this court finds you, not guilty" He was ordered 2 years without bail. Harm and Mac stood up and left the courtroom and returned to their makeshift office to call the Admiral.

"Great work, pity about the treason. Please tell me you know the details"

"Yes sir"

"Good, Good, see you back here on Monday"

"Uh, Sir?" Harm said

"Yes Commander?"

"You know we have some leave worked up on the books?"

"Get to the point Commander"

"Can we take a week or two?"

"I'll give you two but just so you know that will be almost the end of the Colonel's"

"Yes sir, thank you" she said and they hung up

"Hey Sam" said Mac entering her lab

"Hey, do you have to go home?"

"Nope I got two weeks leave"

"No way, that's awesome, well we'll have to arrange a trip through the gate before you go"

"No way, after what I've heard and read, there is no way I'm going through that thing"

"Hey we'll just take you to the alpha site, it's just a military base on another planet"

"Yeah maybe"

"Do you like flying?"

"Not by the Navy or USAF's standards no"

"Oh"

"Why"

"No reason"

"Mmmm Hmm"

"No I was just wondering, Harm will like it though"

"What?"

"We have a new Jet that he'd like to go in out there"

"Yeah" Mac was still sceptical

"Yeah I'll talk to Jack tonight, do you want to come over for dinner, you must be getting awfully sick of commissary food"

"Ok sure, see you later then"

They next day they got geared up and stood at the base of the Stargate with Daniel and Teal'c, Sam and Jack stayed and watched from the control room and Mac looked back at Sam warily who smiled back at her. The gate kawooshed and Harm and Mac took a step back, Daniel walked up and went through first and Teal'c waited for Harm and Mac to follow, they stood staring at the blue mass and Harm stepped through. Mac, realising she was being waited for took a deep breath and took her step too, what happened next was like nothing she had ever experienced, it was fun but at the same time made her feel like she was flying with Harm which was always a bad idea in her books. Just as soon as it started it was over and she was staggering on the other side

"You all right Jarhead" she nodded slowly, not trusting herself to open her mouth. Harm smiled at her as she took a few deep breaths. He gently put his arm around her waist as Daniel and Teal'c lead them further into the large complex

"Welcome to the alpha site" a man said leading them in, they looked around in awe he lead them outside and you could see out to space to a small moon and a sun "which of you will be flying today?"

"Me" said Harm

"All right, I'll get you to suit up" and he lead him away Mac stood there and waited, she looked around the beautiful planet and was lead to a seat outside. A little over 10 minutes later she saw Harm in a silver suit getting into what looked like a really advanced fighter plane. He gave her a quick thumbs up before getting in and was glad that for once he wasn't the pilot. She watched them speed around, possibly the whole world and then she was sure Harm had taken over for a minute as she watched the plane swerve and swoop before coming back to land

"Hey" he said coming over he kissed her gently before continuing, "This planet is beautiful"

"Yes, it is"

"You should see the rest of it"

"No way am I going up in that"

"I thought you'd say that"

"We have to go back anyway,"

"True" Harm changed back into his BDU's and met the other 3 at the base of the Stargate; he grabbed Mac's hand and led her to the blue ripple "Come on" she just looked at him angrily and let him drag her through for the assault on her stomach. It was cool though

The next day they were taken to a park for a picnic with Daniel, Janet, Jack, Sam and the Jackson's 3 kids Cassie, Kim and Lizzie. Kim seemed to be taken with Mac and sat beside her the whole picnic, the boys played games with Cassie and occasionally Kim while the girls chatted about kids and then seeing Mac's aversion to the subject so they talked about Mac's trip to the alpha site the day before. Kim came over to them and sat on Mac's lap, she held the little girl who seemed to idolise the beautiful Colonel as they chatted then Janet said

"Mac, can you braid?"

"Sure, why?" she said perplexed

"Kim has been wanting me to learn to do it for her because some of her friends have been having their hair done like that"

"I can teach you if you want, it's not that hard"

"Sure, maybe when we're at home" Mac nodded and looked down at the little girl who had fallen asleep in her lap "Maybe that should be now," Janet said looking at her daughter. They began to pack up around the sleeping girls – Lizzie had fallen asleep long ago in her little bouncer. When they were packed they got the boys back but Mac insisted she carry the sleeping Kim back to the house

"It's not that far, let me" she said to Daniel who nodded and they walked back to the Jackson household, when they were inside Mac carried the little girl up to her room and put her down to rest, she stood at the door looking at the small figure fast asleep in the small room. Harm came up behind her and put his arms around her

"You'll be a wonderful mother one day" he aid kissing the top of her head

"We need to talk about that tonight"

"Yeah?" he said happily

"Yeah" she turned and kissed him gently before going back downstairs to talk with the others

After a long day they went back to the VIP room and sat on the small couch

"Where do you want to start?" Harm asked

"I've been thinking a lot, looking at the Jackson's and the kids, I'm ready to try again, I want it more than anything, and I just don't know if I can handle another loss"

"You won't have to"

"How can you be so sure?"

"I can't but I am aren't I?" He smiled gently "You've been on the meds again, that often makes it better doesn't it?"

"Mmm but if that always worked we'd have kids by now"

"Yeah but I know we will have children, one way or another, you know it doesn't matter if we never get a biological child, as long as we raise a child together" He kissed her gently

"Thank you" he kissed her again and led her to the bed

"We both need our rest now, so sleep" She smiled at him glad to not have to explain herself any more, she didn't think she could talk about it anymore without crying.

1 week later

Harm and Mac sat in the commissary when the klaxons went off, they were used to this by now but it still was a shock to the senses in the middle of the night

"Unscheduled off world activation" but this time it was different they hear blasts above them and Sam rushed into get them

"Come with me"

"What's up?"

"The Gua'ould just came though the gate with SG-5's old gate code, there's your treason proof but we need to get you two to safety"

"We can help," said Mac

"You may have to, there are a lot, we'll get you weapons just in case" they both got P-90's and were taken to a room "Be careful" Sam left them

"Where are you going?"

"I'm needed in the control room, scientific expert and all"

"Be careful yourself" she nodded and ran as fast as she could with her belly to the control room

Nothing that eventful happened for quite some time, they were taken to a room where they saw a fire fight in the gate room

"You are all fools to think you can beat the Gua'ould," said Jameson as he was lead back through the Stargate with the survivors

"Now you have experienced the Gua'ould, scary no?" said Jack shaking his head they had their weapons taken back to the armoury, there were perplexed by the fact they weren't following them but seeing what had just happened and the wounds they understood it was better to leave it alone if they could. They went back to their room and were there for only a minute when they were told that Sam had gone into premature labour minutes ago, they rushed to the infirmary and found Jack pacing outside one of the rooms.

"Jack, what happened?"

"I don't know, they kicked me out for crowding, they said I could come back later but they needed more medical staff because she is so premature" a little while later Jack was brought in and Harm and Mac were left alone, it was only then they noticed Teal'c and Daniel, they all sat together until Jack came out smiling

"She's perfect, and with your permission we'd like to call her Sarah" Mac was speechless

"Uh, yeah" she said smiling, the were let in but couldn't hold the tiny baby but looked at her in the incubator

"Congratulations" Harm said to the happy couple

"Thanks, and thanks Mac"

"No problem, I'm honoured you even thought of it, this might sound strange but weren't you having twins?"

"Uh yeah, because they were so premature and there was problems with Sarah Janet was able to deliver her and save her brother, we hope I can still carry him to full term" they were interrupted by an SF

"Excuse me Sir, Ma'am," he said to Harm and Mac

"Yes Corporal?"

"You have an hour till your transport arrives"

"Thank you corporal" Harm said

"Oh No! I forgot we were leaving today, I'm so sorry Sam but we have to go"

"That's OK but don't become strangers OK? Call me!"

"No problem" Mac smiled at her friend and they all said their goodbyes to their new friends

"Kim will be sad you didn't get to say goodbye," Janet said

"Tell her I'll come and visit as soon as I can" the smiled before rushing to their room and packing quickly.

2 days later

After finding a last minute booking for that weekend Harm and Mac checked into the hospital for a treatment, they already had fertilised eggs frozen and it all fit well with Mac's biological clock, she was to go into the operation that morning and they should be able to find out the definitive results by the end of the weekend.

"Are you ready for this?" Harm said

"I have been for a week" they kissed gently as she was wheeled into the operating theatre.

Unfortunately by the end of the weekend the labs were so clogged up the results weren't in by the time they left and the Ultrasound was inconclusive but come Monday morning a shrill scream of excitement could be heard across the bullpen from a certain Colonel's office as she got the best news of her life.

OK so there you go after all that wait, phew that was a lot to read! Anyway I've planned some of the next chapter and you all got the happy ending you wanted and I did too, I was sick of upsetting them over and over. OK so poll, boy or girl? Names even, what do u want to happen?

Charmed Ali


	14. Family

Family

Harriet looked up from her desk as she heard Harm and Mac cry out, she ran to the door and looked in to see them hugging then kissing deeply

"Is everything all right, Commander, Colonel?" All three people jumped as the Admiral spoke, Harm and Mac broke apart quickly, Harriet only then noticing the unshed tears in Mac's eyes.

"Yes Sir" She said, "I'm pregnant…Sir" Harriet let out a small squeal and ran over to Mac

"That's great ma'am," she said hugging her friend

"Thanks Harriet"

"Congratulations Colonel, Commander"

Thank you Sir" they said in unison before turning and returning to work along with Harriet.

At the SGC

SG-3 walked down the ramp

"No good sir, we can't find him"

"Good work people, that was our last chance. Go get checked out and report for the debriefing"

"Yes sir" Jack walked back up to his office and reclined in his chair but not for long

"General O'Neill to the infirmary" Boomed over the PA system, he sighed assuming there was some disease running rampant that SG-3 had just brought home. However when he got there he saw Sam on a bed waiting for him

"What's up" she rubbed her belly gently as an expression of pain made it's way onto her face "Really?" he asked face lighting up as a little kid who had just been told he could have any toy in the store. He rushed over and gripped her hand

"It's official" she said

"How long?"

"We have awhile; can you get someone to contact Dad?" He picked up the nearest phone on the wall and got onto someone in the control room

"Contact the Tok'ra, get Jacob here now, it's urgent, tell him his kid is having a kid" he hung up "Done" he grinned at her

JAG office

"Mackenzie" Mac answered as her phone rang

"Mac, hi, it's Janet"

"Hi, what's up?"

"Sam's having the baby; if you can try and get here she would really appreciate it"

"Wow! OK I'll see what I can do, I'll get there at some stage" They both hung up and Mac went straight to the Admiral's office.

"Colonel?"

"Sir, request permission to go back to Cheyenne Mountain for a day"

"Why is that Colonel?"

"Sir, my friend is having a baby; I would just like to be there for a little while"

"I suppose you would like to take the Commander too?"

"Yes sir"

"I really can't spare the both of you"

"It will only be for tomorrow, we'll be back by Friday I promise, and we'll keep on track with our cases"

"All right but I expect you both back Friday morning, and on time!"

"Yes sir" She turned and went straight to Harm's office

"Pack your gear flyboy, we're securing early, Sam's having the baby"

"Huh?"

"We're going back to Cheyenne"

"Oh, right" he stood and began to pack his things as Mac retuned to her office shaking her head at her husband. Not long after they were in their car on their way home, they had managed to secure 2 spots on the next flight which they were rushing to get.

Back at the SGC

"Unscheduled off world activation" Rang through the halls

"I'll let someone else get it" Jack said, sitting by Sam

In the control room

Jacob practically ran down the ramp

"Where is she?" He called up to the Control room

"Infirmary Sir" Jacob turned and ran

"Sam?" he said running into the infirmary.

"Dad" she said smiling, they hugged gently as Sam winced slightly

"How are you going?" she smiled weekly as the contraction passed.

Harm and Mac's House

As they rushed around their rooms to pack they ran straight into each other, Harm grabbed Mac to steady her and they were inches apart, he leaned down and kissed her gently, she sighed as they parted.

"I'm so happy" he said placing a hand on her flat stomach, he kissed her again before she could reply

"I'm glad" she said not meeting his eyes

"I know this feels too good to be true but it will happen for us, I know" he smiled down at her and grabbed their bags off the bed "are you packed, we have to get going" she nodded, yes and they left for the airport.

SGC 4 hours later

"Sir?" an SF approached Jack

"Yes sergeant?

"There are two people here, saying they have clearance"

"JAG's?"

"Yes sir"

"Send them through and escort them down here"

"Yes sir"

10 mins later

"Sam" Mac said running in, hugging her friend.

"Hey" she said grimacing, her contractions getting closer,

"How long has it been?"

"Almost 5 hours"

"How close are you?"

"Not long now" said Janet who had just checked her "I'm gonna have to ask everyone to wait outside" They all left except Jack

"Ok Sam, you're ready, start pushing when you feel the next contraction" she nodded and bore down, gripping the bed with one hand and Jack's hand with her other.

"Good, relax and then do the same again" Sam nodded and groaned as the next contraction hit almost straight away, she dropped back on the bed breathing heavily

"You're doing well honey, just one more" the next contraction came and went too quickly and Sam cried out in pain

"Come, on, you can do it, he gripped her left hand with his own and then used his other hand to help her sit up, she bore down when the next contraction hit and they heard the baby cry as Janet cleared the airways and Jack cut the cord.

"Congratulations you two, you have a son" she said passing the tiny baby to an exhausted Sam

"He's beautiful" Jack said wiping the sweat-drenched hair off her face "what will we call him?" he asked

"That'll need some thought," she looked into his eyes

"Sorry to interrupt but would you like anyone in here yet?" They both looked at Sam

"Just for a little while" she said Janet brought in the group who all crowded around the new family

"What's his name?" asked Daniel

"We're not sure yet we're still discussing it" Jack replied Sam passed the baby to Jacob who looked at his precious grandson like there was nothing else, Eventually everyone had held the little boy except Mac, Harm turned to her and placed the tiny baby in her arms. Mac looked at the child in awe, blonde hair and blue eyes just like his mother with his tiny fingers and toes

"He's beautiful Sam" Harm put his arm around her and kissed her temple

"We should go, let you get some rest" Harm said

"Have you got somewhere to stay?" enquired Jack

"Well the sergeant who greeted us took our bags to the VIP room"

"Good, you guys should rest too after coming all this way"

"When do you have to go home?" asked Sam

"We said we'd be back on Friday"

"OK" They made their way to the VIP room which they remembered from last time. Once they were inside they opened their bags and changed into their pyjamas and after completing their necessary routines got into bed.

Late that night Mac awoke to a stabbing pain in her back and her heart dropped, it was a different pain but she didn't doubt there was something wrong, she shifted, trying to make herself more comfortable and in doing so woke Harm.

"What's up?" he said groggily

"Back" she said

"Is everything OK?"

"I honestly don't know Harm"

"Why don't you let me rub it for you?" Most of the time Mac would say no but right now she would do anything she rolled onto her stomach and pulled her shirt up as Harm moved to straddle her hips and gently rubbed her back. Mac groaned in approval as the pain lessened slightly providing hope in her sad heart.

OK I'm gonna leave it there for now because I haven't updated in forever and I feel really slack! I have just started my final year at school and it is hectic so I will be very slow this year but it will get finished eventually. I am so sorry and those who have stuck with me are legends!!!!

By the way what do you think for Sam's baby, I'm thinking Jacob somewhere so get creative…

Great response for the names and stuff but some of them weren't specific to the child Rabb or O'Neill anyway what about our new little boy. I thought Jackson but then I didn't think of the Jackson family of the story so yeah.

Thanks for sticking with me 


	15. New Hope

Two points, first and most important is I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!

I have had a million issues with getting this finished, it has been way too long and totally frustrating for me and no doubt for you too!

I finally finished my final year of school and all my exams are over and now my computer has a virus so I practically had to re start this chapter in frustration with my normal computer out of action and jumping form whatever computer is available to get it typed.

Now I may have to totally redo my computer and I may end up loosing all of my final day of school photos!!!

OK enough excuses and on with the story. Thank you so much for sticking with me and even more to those who have reviewed!!

One other thing, I just re read my story to catch myself up and all that and guess what – Sam just had 2 kids, did anyone else notice or is it just me!?! Since I am going to have to re write 2 chapters to fix this problem, I am just going to say that she was one of those women who almost lost a twin prematurely and they saved her and she ended up carrying the second one to full term! I have also changed the previous 2 chapters to make it fit.

Chapter 15

Mac awoke slowly and comfortably, the ache in her back had lessened and hope entered her heart again

"Morning" Harm said, his fingers lightly tracing a pattern on her side, she rolled over and brought his head down to hers to fully kiss him

"Thank you" she said, he trailed his hand over to rest on her back

"Feeling better?" he gently rubbed the area under his hand

"Much" They parted and he pressed his lips to her forehead, he pulled her closer and whispered in her ear

"I love you" he moved and his lips brushed her neck

"Harm" she said warningly, her voice betraying her desire

"Mmm" he said innocently, his lips and hands still caressing her body

"We can't, not here" his hands stopped but his lips continued to nibble her neck

"I miss this, our us time" he got out of bed, she son followed and moved into his arms

"Me too" he kissed her forehead again

"Dibs on the first shower" he turned and ran into the en suite leaving a playfully shocked Mac behind. After they had both showered they made their way to the commissary and then to see Sam in the infirmary.

Sam and Jack had been discussing baby names since he had been born and had come up with a few short listed names. They knew they were going to use Jacob and were pretty sure it was going to be his middle name but from there on they had no idea.

When Harm and Mac arrived they were looking at each other's short lists and crossing names out

"Hey, how's everything going?" Mac asked as she looked at the papers in front of them

"Good, we're down to only a few now" Sam replied, she looked quite good for a woman who had just had a baby

"Hey did you get rid of Samuel?" Jack injected

"Think Samuel Jacob O'Neill"

"What's wrong with that?"

"It's very biblical"

"So?"

"Jack when was the last time you actually went to church?"

"Last time we had a Sunday on Earth"

"Exactly, We're not all that devout, if you get my drift. I mean I still want him baptised and all that, but…"

"I do like Tyler" he said looking down at her sheet

"That's nice," said Mac

"Tyler Jacob O'Neill, has a bit of a ring to it huh?" said Jack goofily, Sam shook her head and smiled

"Tyler Jacob O'Neill, yeah, I like it" she smiled back at him and they looked over at the clear crib at her bedside "OK" she said, they kissed gently and called Janet over who wrote it on the official records.

Once Tyler was awake and fed, Sam handed him over to Mac and she was once again awed by the tiny life that she held in her arms.

"Mac, Jack and I have been talking and we want you and Harm to be Sarah and Tyler's godparents, we know you are the godparents of the Roberts' kids but it would really be great"

"I'd be glad to and I'm sure Harm would be just as delighted"

"Jack is probably asking him now" The boys had left them to catch up a little while ago and they had been quite happy to oblige.

"So how is little Sarah?"

"She's doing great, she's still in a private room in the incubator but since her brother has now been born Janet thinks she may be ready to be released soon"

"That's good, have you had much time with her?"

"We've spent most of our free time with her and since I'm now on leave I have had a lot more of it"

"I'm glad it all worked out"

"Me too, we were very worried about Sarah for awhile there. What's happening with you?"

"Not much at the moment, we have decided to try again though"

"So, tell me about it"

"Well, we got some of the latest results, we're not telling anyone yet but seeing as I never see you, I'm pregnant" Sam's face broke into a wide smile and she motioned to Mac to come over for a hug

"I'm so happy for you, I hope this is it for you"

"Thanks, but you can understand why we don't want to broadcast it everywhere"

"No totally, I get it, trust me"

"Thanks Sam" They hugged again before Jack and Harm walked back into the room

"Janet says we can take Sarah home when Tyler is ready," Jack said sitting on the side of Sam's bed, which brought a smile to her face

"I'm sorry guys but we'll have to go and pack before lunch, they want us back at work tomorrow"

"No worries, just make sure you come back to say goodbye before you go" Sam said

"I promise" Mac smiled at her friend before they began to head back to their room "Hold, on sailor, I wanna go and see her"

"Who, Sarah?"

"Yeah" they made their way to the little room and Mac looked in on her namesake "She's getting bigger, she looks healthier now"

"She does" he kissed her temple before wrapping his arms around her and resting his hands on her abdomen, a gesture that he'd done before but now it felt right, she smiled to herself, thinking about the baby that they would soon have. Now there was no room for what if and maybe, this was it, Mac was going to convince herself until it hurt if it would help their baby to be brought into the world.

OK I do have more in my brain but I had to get this up before I stressed out about how long it has been since I updated.

One last point – I have noting against the biblical thing I am in fact a Christian but I just thought that it didn't really suit that much. I know the background that Jack is from a Catholic family – Irish is it?? But still it just didn't really work for me.


	16. AN

Hi guys,

It has been FOREVER I know and I apologise. I have moved to uni and haven't really done much writing in ages.

Not entirely sure if this will go anywhere and I am so sorry for those who have been faithful to my stories. If I ever get a chance I will finish it since I hate leaving it hanging but if anyone would like to submit a continuation/beta finish it for me, you are welcome.

Love love

CharmedAli


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